A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex of three years dumped me. I'm trying to move on. I know I shouldn't miss him but sometimes I just can't help thinking about him.How much time do I need to get rid of him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2013): I wish I could give you a good answer but it has been 4 months since my ex boyfriend dumped me and still struggling but I am trying it is hard. They say keep yourself busy and look after yourself but it is still hard. I think try and focas on yourself and do things that make you happy. Hopefully you have lots of friends or close ones to help distract you, I have a few close friends but the hardest part I find is that they are all couples and don't go out much at night so it is usually a lunch time catch up. So it can get very lonely as you have lost a best friend so I feel your pain. I would delete him off facebook most definitely otherwise you will be stalking his page all the time and just upsetting yourself but if he phones you I personally would still talk to him unless it was messy. Anyway hope I have helped in someway.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2013): Me too :(
Two years here but I feel yeah. It's like a death for sure
Grief takes time. Try to be good to yourself now. Date yourself
Go to movies see friends get a facial whatever.
It will take time and patience. Only way out is through.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2013): It depends on you.
No one can really tell you a definite time frame.
Because at the end of the day, it is you will decide.
Like myself I had a hard time forgetting my ex bf.
He was the sweetest guy I've ever dated for 2 years.
I thought nothing can divide us. But I was all wrong.
When we split up, I tried to entertain other people.
Sad to say, nothing compares to him.
It took me a year and a half to finally get over him.
Forgetting someone depends on how that ex treated you.
If his the best ex bf, you will really have a hard time.
But if he treated you badly, a month or weeks, you'll get over it.
Don't worry, you will just eventually forget.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (1 July 2013):
Hi there. When you say it is over with your ex, I am assuming that it has only just happened.
Like within a week or two, or maybe even just days.
Is that right?
And so you are naturally going to miss him, because 3 years is a long time.
And it is a substantial chunk out of your life.
You will go through a grieving process, for what you have lost, and that is perfectly normal.
Because it IS a big loss, that's for sure.
There is no quick or magical way to get over a lost love, unfortunately.
You can't just pretend it hasn't happened, and act like it isn't important, and that you don't feel upset.
That is impossible to do.
And not to mention very unrealistic.
And so it is going to be important that you see and call your friends, and be with people whenever you possibly can.
So in other words, I am saying that you DO NOT just sit at home and mope around, feeling miserable.
And you will have to push yourself, to make the effort to get dressed up and go out with your friends.
Because it WON'T be easy.
You don't have to go out every single night - no, not at all.
Just maybe ONE night a week.
Or even if not out to a public place, you could just meet friends for a coffee, or else go their place and chat.
The main thing here, is that you don't just close yourself off from the world, as that is the WORST thing you could do, as all it does it make you feel even worse.
Whenever you feel the tears coming, let them come.
If you are out shopping, well then wait until you get home and then cry.
If you work, and you feel like crying, well then just visit the ladies' toilets and cry in there - then wash your face and go back to your desk again.
You may have a few times where you will feel like crying, and the best thing you could possibly do, is to just cry until you can't cry anymore.
And I promise you, that you will feel a little lighter after you do.
It does definitely help, that's for sure.
Another thing that is helpful when feeling sad, is to go for long leisurely walks - say for 30 minutes to an hour - and this helps you to feel relaxed and calm again, and also will help you to sleep well at night.
The worst of the grieving process, will probably be in the first 2 weeks or so.
And perhaps even ONE month.
And with each day, the pain will be less and less as time goes by.
And of course, look after yourself with eating a well balanced diet, and perhaps a good mutli-vitamin, drink plenty of fresh tap water every day, and get a good night's sleep every night.
This will keep your energy levels up, which will in turn make you less likely to feel quite so down.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (1 July 2013):
 Hi, its different for everyone. Some move on fast and others take years.
Sounds like you are on the right track and also determined to move on.
It also helps to keep busy and focus on things you like. Get out with friends and catch up on things you missed out. Also if you have really good friends that will speed the process as they will want to include you in everything to help you move on. Also blocking the person from all your contacts makes things easier as you are then not checking the FB or whatts app fro what he is up to.
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