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female
age
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anonymous
writes: How much the quality of marriage effects the outcome of children;s life? I think,me and my husband never really loved each other,and instead of divorce,he escaped from family and love,to his work. Now, my grown children are all having serious problems emotionally,and with drugs. But I don\t know if it would happen ,even if he is more here,and show how to live to his sons. How much of the absence of the father effects a young boy's life and future? I feel, I hate him now,but I don't know if I'm right Could he really cause damage with not trying to be a real father?.Please , give me your thoughts!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): For young boys,their father is the most important thing. They learn everything form him. If he was not showing a strong good example,they will suffer from this on the long-term. But,they are damaged,yet, not finished with life.They have to go to healing places,like counselors,or spiritual help. They will find their ways. Many of us got damaged in our childhood. Take care
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 April 2010):
I'm afraid to say that it can affect children in a big way. Boys (and girls) need a good, strong male role model as well as a female one, and often if they don't have one, you get what has happened to your boys. He has probably done very serious damage, because they'll believe he never loved them or wanted them. It's worth trying to talk to them about how they feel and why they do what they do. But I'm sad and sorry to say that his actions may have caused a lot of their problems.
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A
female
reader, blackdalia  +, writes (14 April 2010):
I would say 100%, children can feel the tension between parents when they are not in harmony. It is important to raise them in an attentive, loving household... You cannot change the past now. I think hating your husband will not remedy the situation. You will have to focus on your children because they need you now more than ever. Find solution for the drugs and get help. Even if they are victim of an unhappy childhood it doesn't mean that the rest of their lives is finish. Live in the present, get resources to help your kids for them to not fall into the same cycle again with their future family. It is important, this is what you have to do, Good luck
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