A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I know this might sound kind of general, but I am looking for some pointers or advice for someone just starting out in a new relationship. In particular, I would really like some words of wisdom about how to grow a relationship and make it last.Here are some details about me and my girlfriend in case that can lead to more targeted advice:- We met on an online dating site.- I am 24, she's about 3 years younger.- We are both virgins and this is the first relationship for both of us. - We live within driving distance of each other (about 25 miles) but it will become a long-distance relationship if she goes to grad school this fall.Thanks for your help? I truly appreciate it since she's very special to me!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question0801819p: Thanks for taking the time to respond! You are very right about getting to know the person and building trust. I had been getting to know my girlfriend for about five and half months before I asked her out. As far as interests, likes and dislikes, we know each other pretty well at this point. Of course, there is room for improvement and I look forward to having deeper, more substantive conversations with her.Madeyoye: Yes, I have met her in person and know that she does exist! Thanks for your comments too!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): In order to grow a relationship make sure you get to know each other. This sounds very obvious but a lot of people fail to do this at the start of a relationship and find out later on (after moving in together for instance) that they don't really know their partner. This can cause all sorts of problems. To get to know her better you might want to have lots of conversations and share views on things that you encounter. For example, if you see a news item express a view on it and ask her how she feels about it. You might want to also ask outright about other, more important topics. How does she feel about you going out with mates to clubs? Ask her what she values most in a relationship etc.
Really get to know her, what she likes, dislikes, is interested in and most importantly what she wants from the relationship. As you are both entering into this without any prior experience it may be a little difficult at first to really know what you do (and do not) want but think about it and discuss it together.
Also, be patient. You two are very young and are embarking on your first relationship. You might get a few things wrong but that is okay. The more mistakes you make at the beginning the sooner you can learn from it.
Trust is one of, if not the most important thing in a relationship. When you commit to someone make sure you do not break their trust as it can be one hell of a chore to build it up again. A good rule to follow is : If you do not feel comfortable telling you partner about something then do not do it.
As a woman, I love being made to feel special. Make sure you do this for her, as she will love you for it. This doesn't mean expensive gifts or over the top gestures, you can write a love note, send an unexpected text telling her you love her (when you get to that stage) ask to help her with anything etc. Just be thoughtful, it will go a long way in showing her that you really care.
Finally, have fun. That's the key to a good relationship, to have lots and lots of fun with your other half.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, Madeyoye  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 Hi Frnd it so Nice Been in Love with someone and gettin same thing back as return but i need to ask you a question..Have you Guys Met in Person?if YES that means all you need to do is Take her for a walk,visit places,buy gift,communication time to time and show your Care,Love and do Crazy things to make Her Laff...
In the Other way if NO you need to take your time very well to know more about her cos she might be invisible..you need to understand what am sayin.
i Wish you Best of Luck Frnd.
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