A
female
age
36-40,
Ears4tears
writes:At thirteen i was the only girl in my high school year to be having a relationship with with an eighteen year old bloke, much to alot of girls jealousy. Like everyones first relationship it started off magical, he was sweet kind, caring and made me feel like a queen. Hed walk the forty minute walk everyday to be outside my school gates when the home bell rang on numerous occasions holding a cuddly teddy or a beautyful bunch of flowers which i proudly walked back home with. Our first year and some what were great he was everythink a girl could wish for, however this was to be short lived. When i turned fifteen after suffeing years of arguments with my mother and sexual abuse at the hands of my step father i finally picked up the courage to pack my bags and moved in with my boyfriend and his father just round the corner. this is where it all went down hill, i started to suspect him of cheating and being as up front as i am i confronted him with my suspician to be replyed with a fist. After a short period of livivg there be started drinking, socialy at first which grew and grew to the point he was drunk nearly everyday and would come home in the early hours of the morning out of his head. This lead on to more and more violence which just seemed to get worst with each day that pasted. By now i was 16 and had began working at cash centre full time, bringing in a good wage a week that generally went on him, to scared to go back home to my mother who had by now seperated from my step dad istarted to self harm to releas all my pain and just prayed that in time things would get better.A few months followed and things for a while seemed much calmer till one night i was woken by the foul smell of alcohol followed by quiet but a slurred voice requesting i took my bottoms off, still half asleep i rambled "your drunk sleep it off" then to my complete horror he rolled me over pinned me down and with his hand over my mouth so not to wake his dad then pushed himself inside of me, for the first few seconds my mind way trying to figure out what was happening to to, He was my boyfriend he couldnt be raping me... could he? Then that followed by the same horrible sicking feeling i was all to familiuar with and i began crying right down from the soul, he looked me straight in the eye and instantly knew what hed done, rolled off me and begging for his forgivness and promises that it would never happen again.The whole thing must of lasted maybe six or severn minutes although to me it felt like six or severn hours,i didnt sleep the rest of the night just lay there scared id wake him.Next morning was the same as any other day, i couldnt look me in the eye but he never said a word. Another few months went by in a blurr the violence got no better and the only time i felt safe was when i was at work, i thought things couldnt get any worse until i was just turned seventeen when i suffered my first miscarriage which i to this day i believe was due to the punches id recieved. It was then i hit rock bottom i was in alot of pain and couldnt take it any longer, so this time when he hit me i picked up the nearest thing to me which at hte time was a large frying pan and hit him with all my strenght, i felt no guilt only relief i packed up my belongings and spent a short time back at my mums before moving onto a youth hostel.Even after all id been though it didnt deter me from making the same stupid mistakes, getting involved with the wrong guys who thankfully never hit me but lied and cheated on me. It was one after another and each one hurt me in a different way. The one who really seemed perfect, was to my horror sleeping with another girl who was quiet well known for shell we say knicker removing stills,well that ended with me sitting extremely embrassed in the GUM clinic. (Even more shocking i discover that the following christmas he wasin bed with my mother haha but thats another story).In febuary 2004 i meet, the father of my first two children who was at the time on leave from the RAF. From the begining it was very rocky, he was always very jealous and controlling. At one point he got so jealous of my best mate( we were extremely close and lived next to each other) he accused me of having a lesbian affair which of cause i wasnt, but trying to explain that to his paranoya proved impossible. After just three months of being together and two weeks before he was due to leave to serve a three month tour in iraq i discovered i was pregnant.The news of forth coming baby was appparently not welcome by his parents, his father was horrible to me, he left two weeks later and for the just over three months i had no contact with his father and only saw his mother on two occasions. During his tour he called me once a week for about 5 minutes and ever once asked about his unborn child, which irritated me as i was by now working full time and making preperations for my babys arrival all alone with no real support or interet. The day he returned for his tour i went with his parents to meet him with my five month pregnant belly and still even tho it was so plain that the baby was a reality his still didnt show any interest.After a few weeks of constant interferring on his fathers behalf and rowing all the time my parnter announced he wanted us to be married so that we could live together on RAF marriage quaters, feeling extremely vunerable and convincing myself it was what was best for our baby i agreed to be his wife. We married two months later on the 8th january 2005 and moved into our two bedroom house just six weeks before our babys estimated due date. On the 21st feburary 2005 i gave birth to our son, for the fisrt few weeks my partner was kind of helpful which gradually become less and less. Things got so bad, he parents were constantly interfering his mother was always making me feel bad that i didnt do things her way and that id rather take the advice of a health visitor than hers, i had no friends or family close by and my marriage was already breaking away i was so surcluded. After eight, nine weeks i was diagnosed with server post natal depression, and to make matters worse id fallen pregnant again.It was the same all over again with my second pregnancy, except this time he was going out all the time spending hundreds a month on his mobile which we didnt have.I knew straight away what he was up to, i started checking his phone and found text from other women on chat room etc and when i confronted him heavily pregnant he refused my suspicians and turned it on me, if i was making the suggestions then it must be me committing the accused. After abit i just let him get on with it i was eight months pregnant with a very energetic toddler, so of cause i was tried and had ankles the size of basket balls HAHA!!MY baby girl was born 14th feburary 2006, and she was gorgeous with her little mop of blonde hair, shamefully my partner never seemed to think so, he showed her no attention or proper affetion. On the one occasion he did i night feed i woke up to my babys screams to find my partner pinning her arms to the bed as she was clearly uncomfortable taking her feeds for him. My marriage pretty much over i was spending most my nights sleeping at a friends house up the road from where i lived, i couldnt even bear being in the same room as my husband.I continued staying at my friends house for about a month when one day she told me her older brother was visiting, to which she showed me a photo, he was gorgeous and somethink inside me told me that i was going to love him. On the day i meet him i proved myself right, i was a married women but some how meeting him made me realise that i didnt love my husband and never had. At the time i never revealed how i felt i wasnt the cheating kind plus he had a girlfriend and i didnt want to be reason for there split. My new found interest was only at his sisters for a few days and it was obvious in that time we had a connection. When he left i was alittle lost and althoughi didnt know him that well i missed his cheeky smile and commical ways. A few days later, after months of very serious roaws and even fighting i ended my marriage i just couldnt take it any more and my poor children hated being round there father who always shouted at them, so i asked him to leave.Less than a week later my mate had told her brother about my marriage break up and he began texting me as he had to broke up with his girlfriend, by the end of that week hed packed his bags, left his flat and job in wiltshire and moved a three hour car journey to be with me and my children.Since that sunday fourteen months ago we have never looked back, we have had a very hard relationship and he has hurt me alot due to his own personel issues, but he is truely a wonderful daddy to my two kids and now our own 12 week old daughter, and even though all his faults hes a perfect partner.The person who has got me though my bad days, by being a trusting friend who i can always be myself with as well as a loving partner who makes me laugh and always has a shoulder to cry on.I hope by people reading my story that they will see that love always finds a way
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affair, at work, broke up, chat room, cheated on me, christmas, drunk, flowers, jealous, lesbian, moved in, period, text, violent Reply to this Article
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female
reader, Ears4tears +, writes (25 September 2007):
Ears4tears is verified as being by the original poster of the question A BIG thank you to the people who have read my story your kind words are very much appreciated. Hope you enjoyed your read and see now that LOVE DOES ALWAYS FIND A WAY!!!
To conclude my happy ending im MARRYING my one true love on the 27th of next month to begin the next chapter of my life!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (25 September 2007):
 That's really great, to hear that even through all the ordeals you had to go through from a young age, that you have gone through that and found someone who truly loves you and makes you happy, and most of all treats your children with the love and respect they deserve.
Too many people in your position end up not breaking the cycle, and end up having miserable and unloving, unfulfilling lives, thus passing the lifestyle on to their children, and the cycle goes on and on.
Well done to you! Your story was wonderful to read.
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A
male
reader, esepalo1  +, writes (21 September 2007):
 Wow im in awe ive never read a LIFE story that really amazed me what you been threw and survived and wrote to tell about it.This seams like a best seller from oprahs book club.Im so glad love found you when it did.Lots of life lessons you learned from im sure.Your special hope people reading this get something from this.I DID.
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A
female
reader, tina1696 +, writes (6 September 2007):
 What a happy ending to what seems to have been a very abusive past! Very Good luck to you in the future!I hope anyone stuck in an abusive relationship reads your story and has the courage to get out and make a new life as you did. You did the right thing for your children and i hope you get the happiness you deserve.
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