Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008): Im almost 18 and ive had sex with 3 virgins and i hate myself for it. i feel like ive taken a innocence and part of them, i dislike it.
honestly, virginity is something to be proud of especialy when you find the guy who you want to share that with.
you wount find him at age 12.
sometimes i wish i still had my viginity. but what ive done made me who i am today.
your boyfriend needs to respect you, and not pressure you like that. if anything it shouldnt be a topic discussed at such an age.
wait till your atleast 16 or 17 when you know more about it and can make even more of a rational disicion
ive only had sex 3 times in my life. and the person whom i shared mine with and whom shared hers with me.
is now my best friend.
sex is a difficult topic main reason of diffrent peoples views.
but coming from a guy, who had some expirience
just wait till your a bit older. make sure the person you share it with is someone who is still going to be there for you even when you two arnt together.
and not just some asshole who disguiseing himself.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): my advice to you is that yes you are way too young to have a sexual relationship. I am 19 years old and still a virgin and there is nothing wrong with that. I know that I am ready, but I dont feel that I have found that right person to give that part of myself to yet. Your only 12 years old, you need to just be having fun and hanging out with your peers, not thinking about having sex yet. I know that it is normal to feel this way, but please take my advice and wait, you will feel much better about yourself. I know that when i was your age, sure i thought about it too, but someone told me the same thing i am telling you, and it has always stuck with me and made me think twice. A lot of emotions arise with having a sexual relationship, and you are too young to be having to deal with that right now, just enjoy being a child! :) have fun and be safe!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007): well, sexual urges are completely normal for your age. but you should probably wait until you are legally allowed to have sex (age 16). i know it seems like a long time off but just wait and you'll be better off.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): the main point is that-
if you were ready to have sex you wouldn't be asking others for advice.
trust me you will know when YOU feel ready, but please wait you are far too young- it really does change your personality.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): i think its quite worrying that at 12 your already thinking you should have sex. Just because you have been with your boyfriend for 5 years doesn't mean you should have sex with him. I was almost 18 when i first had sex and i did because i knew i was ready and not because of friends or tv or any other influence.
My personal opinion is that you are far too young, you are still young and your body is probably not ready for it yet. People place way too much importance on having sex and you should just enjoy being with him until you are both completely ready which is different with all people but i would say 16 is young enough.
Hope that was helpful!
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A
female
reader, hello1  +, writes (19 November 2007):
 Horrible. My sister is 12 and I hope to God she dosen't get a b/f till a couple of years. I don't understand why kids can't just be kids, you can have a b/f just don't sleep with him. What's wrong woth holding hands and kissing? people you see on TV having sex are ADULTS. I bet not many kids your age are having sex so I don't believe your under peer presure.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): Why does everyone these days assume that there is kissing and then sexual intercourse?
There is a lot in between those two extremes. Once upon a time there were years in teenagers lives when they had sexual feelings and did not have sex yet.
Now that era just seems to be gone entirely. The first time a gradeschool-age kid puts down the toys and feels a romantic feeling for anyone, they're ready to go buy the condoms.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): You should wait until your parents agree with you doing it. You should not deliberately disobey your parents until you are no longer a child. Wait until you are 18 and the sex will be all the more passionate. Your love will blossom to old age and you will live a wonderful life,a truly happy existence. If you have sex now, your lives will both be ruined. You will inevitably break up, because you wish to stop out of fear of pregnancy(after you gain wisdom), yet your boyfriend won't (boy's take much longer to gain wisdom); he will cheat on you, and you will never trust men again.
Trust me on this topic: My parents had lived it; I have lived it. Don't join the cause. Abstinence is key to happiness.
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A
female
reader, Msblessed  +, writes (18 November 2007):
 no one can tell you what age to wait for until you have sex you have sex when you and your partner are ready and not because your pressured into doing it your really young though and I think you should wait but if you do plan on having sex at this age be safe
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): don't have sex until your sixteen okay
a lot of things can go wrong in your realtionship i mean everything if your not ready at the time.
I mean it will change your personality too i lost mine at 13 and i was this person who love to be free and just have fun...
but when my boyfrined i had sex for the first time it was like we are the same but has the months went by i became very over protective and just not letting him do things
so i saw your too young yeah it sucks big time when people say that but seriously it will surely protect you from a lot of pain
trust me
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): i think your a little to young to be thinking about sex all ready but since you are thinking about it i say you should wait tell it feels right for you i think you should wait at least tell your 16 or mature enough to make your own decisions in life i hope i helped you out.
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female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (18 November 2007):
 I can understand the pressure from peers etc to have sex. Having sex is a life changing event and it really should be reserved for when you are older and you have a solid relationship with someone you trust. You are too young at 12 to understand the ramifications of this life changing event. If you give yourself away too freely and before you are ready it will damage your self esteem. I am sure you are thinking, yeah right some old lady just saying that. But I am speaking from experience and I wish I had waited longer than I did. It isn't something you can take back once given so treat it as a precious gift.
But, as the other advisor pointed out, if you are going to have sex, think protection and birth control.
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female
reader, lil'shade +, writes (18 November 2007):
Well I'm 15 & I think your a little young 4 dat. All don't know wat yall doin. Do U even love him because I think yall to young to kno wat luv is.
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female
reader, AnnaW219 +, writes (18 November 2007):
 ok your 12 i had the exsact same feeling and i did it love dont do it and can i ask how old is your boy friend?
if same age then it is ok wait till your a bit older and i bet yopu aint been going out with him that long thats ok i lied just to get the answer to dont worry it is natural and if your feeling that this is wrong it is not everyone has it listen chick dont give in to temptation your in year 7/8 you really shouldnt be doing it at all its ok to want to but dont wait trust me o and if you want to ask this question yes it hurts the first time
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A
female
reader, Kayleigh :) +, writes (18 November 2007):
 Hello :)
The law to have sex IS 16. You are obviously not ready and should wait. Its great to know your boyfriend is not pressuring you into having sex. If anyone ever does make sure you are ready and if your not tell them and dump them.
Lots of people i know have had sex at a young age and they feel ashamed of it because they know the law. So please wait until you are definitely sure you are ready.
Hope i helped you :)
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