A
female
age
30-35,
*113yx8
writes:So I know that two people should have sex when "the time is right" but I'd like to know opinions on how long is the usual good amount of time to wait? Usually when I meet guys we click really fast and enjoy each others company and it seems like we've known each other longer then we have so I'm trying to avoid doing anything too soon. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, a113yx8 +, writes (17 May 2011):
a113yx8 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all of the answers they really were very helpful
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2011): Well it really depends on what feels RIGHT, personally. I mean, for myself, when it came to losing my virginity, I was very careful about it. I had a boyfriend for a year from 14-15 who wanted to have sex with me, but nothing more happened than one oral session and one handjob. Then came along another boyfriend who I fell in love with at 16. I had sex with him 3 months into the relationship, losing my virginity to him. And with my current boyfriend, well, we had sex before we started dating, and it just felt right even though we weren't dating at the time. It all depends on you.
If it doesn't feel right, do not give in. However, if it does, have sex when you are completely ready, whether it be a few months into a relationship, one month, or longer. However, to be honest, the younger you are, the longer you should wait.
...............................
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (16 May 2011):
 I don't think you can really put a time limit on this sort of thing. Sex is something that you have to think about in the most realistic sense that you can. Of course more time helps but age alone doesn't determine when you are ready. Someone who is twenty five could be uneducated and not ready for sex. Think about all the risks, how you feel about your bf and birth control and see how it makes you feel. If you feel you're not ready then come back to it in a month or two and see how you feel then.
The important thing is not to rush yourself but also not to set a date saying that in six months sex should happen regaurdless. You're fully capably of making the right choice and there are many resources out there so you know how to go about sex in the safest way possible.
...............................
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (16 May 2011):
 At too young an age, people tend to corrupt that phrase horribly. They want an excuse to have sex so they ready themselves to label almost any moment as 'the right time'. Good on you for being patient.
In a relationship, you need to slow down and actually look at these moments without sexual intentions in mind, are they the right person or will they just leave you when they're done? That's why sex should be the last thing on everyone's mind, otherwise it just isn't worth it in the end.
That's specifically why I despise 'Friends with benefits' as well, it typically results in more complicated things that neither one of those 'friends' intended to happen. But it does. You can't treat sex as a hobby, you can't treat it as a game or just something fun. It might seem that way at first but it tends to get ugly if you aren't cautious. Wait a long time until you are absolutely sure and promise yourself, no excuses and no rushing things, then you will surely enjoy it. There really isn't a specific time range I can give you, I can only suggest that you be patient and wait until it all seems perfect and then wait some more until you are sure that it isn't just a fleeting moment in your life.
I hope that helps.
...............................
|
