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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been widowed for six years. I have been seeing this guy for a month. I think I love him, how long should I wait to tell him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): hmm well, we actually said 'i love you' as friends first, then it got to be like a joke and then we had a Good Deep Talk. and voila, that was the day our it started. =) follow your gut.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): I like a man to tell me he loves me first. Call me traditional, but it's so much nicer when he does all the chasing. You (the woman) retain more power this way. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): Don't tell him first, men seem to run away and freak out at the first sight of commitment. Let him tell you first. It's much better that way because you won't have to wonder if he truly means it when he says "I love you too". If you say it first, he might not feel the same way and say it back to you so that your feelings won't get hurt. Trust me on this one, resist the urge to say it. Instead say something like "I really care for you, your very special to me". Best of luck with your guy :)
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A
female
reader, EileenNellie +, writes (1 December 2006):
 A lot longer than that! Almost any guy will be freaked out by hearing that at this point. I know I would be. I can't quite comprehend that a person COULD fall in love in only a month. There is so, so much you don't know about the guy, and you can't love someone (and loving them means ALL of them), if you don't even know all there is to know about them.,See if you still feel the same in 4-6 months. Then tell him. I am guessing, though, that you may feel differently by then.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): you cannot "think" you love a person. its either you do or you dont. for the waiting bit, take your time but dont take too long or your chance might just fly by
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A
female
reader, Aunt Charlene +, writes (1 December 2006):
 you use the term "think" that means you are unsure whether you do or not, if you dnt know yet then i would advise not telling him until you are sure you love him. if you are sure you love him at this moment in time,i would drop hints such as: i could really see us being together along time, and we have a good thing between us dont you think? using "tag questions" will help to bring out his feelings without scaring him off.
it took me ages to tell my bf i love him, i kept sayin i feel it but i cant say it, so i understand the uncertainties you have
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): Congratulations on finding somebody you want to be with after six years of widowhood! My advice is to take your lead from him; wait for him to say he loves you first. It could be crushing if you say it too soon and he doesn't feel the same. A month is too soon i believe. You can certainly feel it, but some people take longer to 'fall' than others and so it's safer to wait. If you really feel the need to say it to him first, then wait until you pass the three month mark.
Again, congratulations on finding somebody to love!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): It depends on you. I was with my bloke 6 weeks before i told him. I wanted him to say it to me first, but it didn't happen so i did it. You will know when the time is right.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (1 December 2006):
 Tell him that you like him first, I love you is very strong and powerful sentence.
Different relationships develop at different speed, do not be impulsive and if to scare to frighten him off, wait until he tell you first.
Good luck and lots of hugs
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