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female
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*onfusedgir1
writes: Im with a guy right now. I really like him. I met him in the end of June. we started dating in August exclusively. now we r broken up coz he is very over friendly with women. I call that flirting. He says hes not flirting, he says he's jus conversing, jus for the fact that hes been like that all his life, its his nature. I cant take it. everytime we go shopping in the market, a regular store. he makes sure he has a conversation with the cashier and it always a women, WHY!!! I cant stand it nemore. we have been dating for 3 and a half months. I trust him but I dont want him to do that in front of my face. he gave me an ultimatum, saying, either I accept him the way he is, or move one. I dont know wat to do. i tol him, get lost and i wanted my stuff back. is that telling him pretty much that I dont accept him? the second question is, I havent goen to get stuff from his place, i still have belongings there. I didnt wana see his face so I said u can keep that stuff. this was tuesday, its friday now, we havent spoken, why doesnt he bring my stuff to work and why isnt he saying come get ur stuff? i just want him to make some adjustments when hes with me, not to be too friendly, i think thats disrespectful. wh ycant he tone down a lil? why is it so hard? Last QUESTION? Is he gona evr change? why is he so selfish? he is divorced if that helps. I think he went through the same thing with her. Please tell me wat I should do.
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female
reader, confusedgir1 +, writes (18 December 2006):
confusedgir1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDoes he even love me anymore? or did he even love me? I only say hurtful words to make the other person learn more. I odnt mean to hurt them. Why is he ignoring m emails? I cant take this. I just lost my mom this past april and now hes stressing me out. Does he even care that I lost my mom. why is he being so selfish. Did he ever care about me? he is so torn over his past relationships.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2006): I cannot stop emaling! wats wrong with me? Am I in love with him or something? We were trying to talk about it and then he goes, I changed that he doesnt wana be with a gf who is not "cool". that made me so angry that i had to hang it up and i texted him nasty things, mean and hurtful words, not to mention I spiked up his text bill. but he owe me money neway.
the next day, he wrote me an email saying "I will never forgive u for ur hurtful words, I will never ever tell u things, most importantly open my heart to u. Then he said that I always apologize for such hurtful words and it is nothing but shallow lies. then he said said that this would be his last email. he was gona consider being friends to get to know each other because he feels we dont know each other, but forgt it now and thats the last I heard from him. this was dec 4. I emailed him again saying sorry for the hurtful words on dec 13th, and I also said that ill leave him alone and, that I would never email him again. I tol him that if he cant even care for for my feelings and worry bout wat he impresses, like other girls, then hes not for me. then I said i would never email him again. but in a previous email, i did say tell him that I loved him and i still cared bout him. its been 4 days since my last email. is it over between us or wats going on? I need to stop emailing him but I cany help it, i dont know why. what should I do? will he ever be friends with me agaian. I hate this. I still see him at work from time to time. he takes my hallways. I am trying to avoid him, and I still see him. this is nerve wrecking! how am i supposed to move on if I still see him?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2006): HI I have done this to men, so I can relate- let me say that from actual experience Its because he is a FLIRT and that will NOT change! sometimes we do it because of insecurity and sometimes its to make you purely jealous to want us more - but if you dont like that in him then LEAVE NOW run as fast as you can because I honestly dont think people can change - not for the long run- maybe for a few months but its in our nature to be what we are - and maybe you should consider his sign?? like horoscope sign?? I wish I could help more- if you need to talk email me!! I am sorry you are going through this....but remember always that when one door closes TWO more!OPEN!and that is truth! :) have faith in GOD and believe that you are a STRONG person and can move on - be HAPPY and be FREE - let go and let GOD - ok?? :) hang in there!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2006): You work together so you will probably run into him in the normal course of your workday. Neither of you needs a lot of drama while you're trying to do your jobs!For right now, it might be best to back off a bit. Don't phone or text him any more for a while and let this situation simmer down.Just see what happens over the next few days or couple of weeks.
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A
female
reader, confusedgir1 +, writes (1 December 2006):
confusedgir1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok, but is this done? I mean. hes not emailing me nemore, no texts. Does he even wana be friends? I dont even know if it is the end because I texted him yesterday and said " I guess it's over" and he wrote nothing back. Is he avoiding me or giving me the silent treatment coz he doesnt want anything to do with me or is he just hurt and has nothing to say and is completely done?
I dont want my stuff. I will get very emotional. It wont be any point neway coz he is not answering my emails or phonecalls. and I dont know why. we work at the same company. It's so bad. I am trying so hard not to see him. I saw him yesterday and he ignored me. I was talking to my guy coworker. do u think he would have talked to me if I was alone? last question. will he ever speak to me again?
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A
female
reader, sophielegs +, writes (1 December 2006):
 ok I totally understand how his friendliness to other women would annoy you. Its hard because you obiously like him but if this is in his nature then I dont think it would work. I dont think it should have been a problem you asking him to tone it down a bit, but at the moment why would he change for you when you have only been dating 3 months. Even though I think relationships are all about compromise not everyone else does. As for all your stuff I would definately go round and get it!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, sophielegs +, writes (1 December 2006):
ok I totally understand how his friendliness to other women would annoy you. Its hard because you obiously like him but if this is in his nature then I dont think it would work. I dont think it should have been a problem you asking him to tone it down a bit, but at the moment why would he change for you when you have only been dating 3 months. Even though I think relationships are all about compromise not everyone else does. As for all your stuff I would definately go round and get it!!!!!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): Well, it seems to me that this guy will always be like this. He even admits it to you that he has been this way all his life. No matter how hard you try you will never change this person. If you don't like it then stay away. If you have a lot of stuff at his, then phone, arrange a time, go and get it and walk away. He will do your head in. I knew a bloke like that and he meant well once i understood he wasn't flirting, just being friendly. Some people are like that but if you don't like it then there is no reason in the world why you should put up with it. Move on. He won't change.
Take care.xx
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (1 December 2006):
 Sorry to say but boyfriend is right, either you accept him the way he is or not.
He was like that when you meet him and it is part of his personality to be chatty, does not mean that he will take chatting further. You cannot expect someone to change. Otherwise the person you like does not exist,only half of that person.
That aside you may have some trust issues to resolve yourself.
Perhaps you are better suited to someone who is not a natural flirt?
If he has not come round with your stuff, it is because you told him to keep it.
Sorry to sound harsh but it sounds to me that his actions of lack of, also giving you the answer regards changing his ways for you. Be strong and hope you find someone you makes you happy and more compatible.xxx
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