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How long is too long on a break?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 May 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 May 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, *al139 writes:

My gf and I split up just over a month ago after 18 months to have some time apart etc. She said she did want to get back with me eventually. Its been a month and all she says is that she doesnt want a bf at the moment however I still see her and she tells me that she loves me and that I'm the one. We're talking about our future and stuff as well. She says she still wants me back and then tells me she likes the single life and has already kissed a couple of other people and told me she "slightly likes" someone else. I feel I'm being messed around. It's horrible what I'm feeling. What should I do?

View related questions: a break, split up

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A male reader, Andrew83 United Kingdom +, writes (12 May 2008):

Andrew83 agony auntHi sal139..

It's very simple yet hard to move on but you've waited long enough for her to say whether or not she wants to be with you. It will be hard to forget about her and move on but by what you're sayin she's kinda movin on and keepin you around to fall back on.

What she's doin isnt very nice, havin a break from you and the relatioship your both in to go out and kiss other guys and sayin to you she kinda fancies/likes someone isnt what i call a break.. To me, time apart from each other is to sort out things, to think about whether this is what the person wants or other things, maybe even to sort their head out.

Sorry to say this sal139 but move on, meet someone new or take abit of time out for your self, make sure you are ready for a new relationship and take it slow.

I also agree with Isabella1974.

Take in all this advice, think it over and decide for your self...

- Can you cope with what she is doin now.

- Would it work knowin she's been kissin and "slightly likes" someone else.

- What if she she got back with you and later took action to the this perosn she "slightly likes".

She says she loves you, wants to get back with you but also likes the single life. It sounds like she is messin you around alot and may not get back with you at all which leaves you to move on or you can wait, wait and wait to find out whether she will get back with you.

My advice to you is move on now.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008):

This is a breakup situation.

DO NOT bullshit yourself that she's not capable of sleeping with someone else right now. Dating other guys is basically the whole justification for her to want this "break." And if you've already learned of her dating other guys and not gone ballistic & dumped her over it, then trust me, she WILL go farther. Soon if not already.

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A female reader, Isabella1974 Ireland +, writes (12 May 2008):

Isabella1974 agony auntHi there, yes you are being messed around and i am not surprise that you are feeling horrible. Its sounds like your girlfriend wants time to sample the single life again. I know she says she wants to be with you, but i feel, she is just keeping you there, so when she decides that she is finished with kissing and messing with other people you are there to fall back on.

I am sorry to say, when she tells you she "slightly likes" someone else, she is seeing how things go and if things dont work out then she is keeping you there, so you are there to fall back on. You deserve to be treated better than this, if she says she loves you, then she would not be doing this to you.

You need to move on from this relationship, she is being very unfair and hurtful to you. Try to forget about her and find someone who treats you better.

Take care

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