A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl online. This girl moved back to my area after a rocky divorce. We met for lunch on the first date. On the second date we went to the beach and had fun. She told me that she is shy about going further down to a serious relationship and needs to think about it. I was ready to jump into the relationship. How long does it take for me to wait until she is ready for a serious relationship? Days or weeks?
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 How long is a piece of string? A: As long as you want it to be....
It is pretty much the same thing here; you simply can't put a time scale on how long it will take somebody to heal from a bad relationship experience and sometimes the scars never fully truly heal. I think you need to give her time, support and understanding and reassure her that this time around things are going to be different by doing that.
If you show her that you will be demonstrating the strength of your commitment to her and she will most likely respond positively in time. Encourage her to talk about her past and provide a listerning ear if you think it is something that you think will help. Back up your words with actions where you can and help her in the healing process. Good luck. :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): It could be alot longer than days or weeks. You stated that she went through a rocky divorce which could mean that she needs a friend and not someone to pressure her on if she should get into another serious relationship. If you like her you will wait, and if you pressure her to much she might let you go just because dhe cant handle all the stress of it. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, Prudence  +, writes (5 March 2008):
How long is a piece of string? I find this an interesting one because I went the internet dating route myself. It's not clear how much time passed between her divorce and meeting you, but very often when people have a break-up and then start internet dating, they're dipping their toes in the water to test the temperature, see how it feels to begin to enter the dating world again, wounds and all. It's good to remember that people are coming from different places emotionally. Because you're ready to jump and she's not doesn't mean this won't work. I would imagine this girl needs at the very least weeks to feel her way into a new relationship, if not months, or even more. If you really like her and think it worth the wait, hang in there, enjoy the dates and really get to know her. Let her get to know you, and let things develop slowly and deliciously. She'll thank you for it.
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A
female
reader, mightyhawk +, writes (5 March 2008):
 Months dear. If she has just gone though a divorce it could take a very long time. However, it may not tak a long time at all. All that is clear is that you should not pressure her into a relationship, that wil only scare her away. Offer her help if she needs it, and be there fore her, and when she is ready se will come to you I'm sure. Just as long as you are willing to wait and be patient. hope I have helped.
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