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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have been married for 2 years and never had sex till now..My husband loves me unconditionally but when it comes to sex,we just have romance and that's it he stops there and dozes off to sleep..When i visit doctors i feel embarrassed to say them this as most of them ask about it..actually i stopped visiting them cause of this.. in spite of having on and off stomach pain from past 2 months.Most of the times i think at least weekend would be appropriate as he is bust on weekdays..but over weekends most of the time goes off for parties at his friend's place or at my place..I had requested him so many times but he just won't....if not for this he is just so good and loves me very much but i just want to know where my marriage is landing up?????I just cannot concentrate on anything pls,pls,pls, help me with this situation...Thank u for ur time.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): Hello,
I have been married for 5 years and my husband is simply great in all possible ways but I m still a virgin 28 years old.. I am facing the same problem.. I tried to confront it.. fight about it.. cry.. get depressed.. in short.. I have gone thru all 9 moods in handling this... Finally..I announced that I want to get pregnant.. and I m planning to go for IVF.. (invitrio fertilization ) .. and then he caved in to go see a specialist.. This has a v. v huge mail ego involved.. if a Man cant do it.. in his male community he is in a way good for nothing ! from docs and tests, we discovered he had extremely low testosterone.. docs have put him on medication..
A
female
reader, Prudence  +, writes (5 March 2008):
Wow, you poor thing. There's something seriously wrong here all right. Have you tried talking about this? It can be good to talk about these things at an unrelated time, such as while driving in the car (on a long drive), instead of in bed. There could be psychological reasons for his behaviour, and this is something you need to look into together.Let him know often how much you love and appreciate him so that he feels safe in confiding in you if he wants to.If he doesn't, and is unwilling to talk about it, you need to think of your own needs and decide whether you can survive this marriage if nothing changes. I know it seems "silly" to place high importance on sex when you're lucky enough to have a good and loving husband, but sex is very important part of marriage too, and you deserve to be cared for and fulfilled in EVERY way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): Either this is a spoof problem or you are a very, very niaive woman! Why wasn't this sorted pre-marriage? Has he ever show feelings towards you of a sexual nature? Have you ever show him any and were rebuffed? I am so sorry but I don't have an answer to this - if you are genuine then you are some strange creature not to have realised long before marriage that something was wrong - you're not exactly kids!
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 Hi,well the only person who can answer this question is your husband. You have a right to know why he won't consumate the marriage.What most people will think first off is the dreaded "is he gay". This is not as far fetched as one might think. A lot of gay men who cannot accept their sexuality get married ( we have a girl in my office who is married to a gay man - she was a virgin and still is )Your husband may be the perfect husband in all other matters but he is hiding something from you . Sex is such a crucial part of marriage as it reaffirms the close emotional bond a couple shares. It allows you to explore each others bodies and minds on a level that is unique to the husband and wife.I think at the very least you should tell you husband that you want to see a counsellor. You have been married for 2 years you deserve to know if he is ever going to be interested in having sex with you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): You should consult a doctor over the stomoch pains however they could be caused over the anxiety of your husband's sexual disinterest. You need to ask him outright why he won't have sex with you - a very reasonable question that is very deserving of an answer. Maybe he has a problem preventing him from having sex or making him worry about it, or like the other post said maybe he is gay. The fact that he loves you, which it sounds as though he really does, doesn't mean he can't be gay - he could well be and you should ask him. Its a logical conclusion to come to when he won't have sex with you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): Hi HunnyHave you talked about if he has a problem hunny as I cant see why a man would get married be next to a beautiful women everynight and not want sex...Im sending you a link love as someone else has the same problem also I no its not a nice thought but his sexuality has he ever come across as if he could be gay...I hate to say this but Im thinking of all the opptions for you to think of and those are the only ones I can think of love, You need to speak with him hunny seriously get to real problem or you will end up very ill, im sending you a link on self esteem as this can knock yours for six and you need to stay strong to deal with whatever is going on sweetheart.http://www.fazed.com/problems/husbandwithnosexdrive.htmlhttp://www.selfesteem4women.com/index.phpI HOPE THIS HELPS AND I HOPE I HAVENT UPSET YOU AS ITS THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO MESSAGE ME IF YOU NEED A CHAT LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, brooke5426  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 You should talk to him. Nobody on this site knows why he doesnt want to have sex. Your relationship with your husband should be strong enough that you can be honest with each other. It could be anything from impotence to stress and fatigue. You should also think about seeing your doctor together to discuss it as therapy can help a lot. Dont be embarrassed they see cases like this every week. But start by just asking him why he never wants to have sex.
all the best
brooke
x
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