A
female
age
30-35,
*irgin18
writes:Ok so I am 20 years old and my bf is 25, we have been together for a year and a few months. We both love each other a lot and we have made it a point to include each other in our separate lives since we started dating. I know all of his family and close friends very well and its the same with him and my family and closest friends. When we celebrated our first anniversary he tossed to "the hope for many more to come" and we are planning to move in together as soon as I'm done with my undergrad degree, I am a senior and I only have a little less than year left. He graduated from college 2 years ago. We are serious about the moving together thing, and we have been for quite some time. Recently I have been thinking and imagining the possibility of sharing my entire life with him, getting married, having kids and enjoying successful careers, the whole 9 yards, but I am not sure if he ever thinks about this. Now I know some of you might think I am too young to be thinking about marriage or that I am not mature enough to know if he is the one, but we are both really mature, the fact that I am going to graduate from college at the age of 20 says a lot about that. I am a pretty determined individual and I think a lot about things before I can reach to a conclusion and I do think he is the one I want to be with for as long as we can. But thats not the problem, the thing is that idk if that "hope for many more" includes us settling down and him seeing me as the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. We have talked about marriage and weddings but not using us as an example but when it comes to other people. he jokes around sometimes by saying he wont give out a ring until he's been with someone for at least 5years, well at least I'm hoping this is a joke haha. He hates the idea of a weeding because he says people waste too much money on it when its unnecessary, since for him going to city hall and getting the marriage certificate is meaningful enough. Of course I disagree with this because I have always dreamed of the big white gown and the flowers and blah blah blah. I know if we were to be engaged I would make him change his mind about that for sure, I definitely not worried about that, whats got me thinking is whether he would ever be ready for put a ring on MY finger anytime soon... What do you guys think, how long do you think a guy waits to feel sure he wants to pop the question?
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anniversary, engaged, flowers, money, wedding Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2011): Why wait?
Women can ask.
I told my wife that I was thinking about asking her to marry me, that I'd like her to think about what her answer would be and what that would mean (to be married).
She took me to lunch the next week, and asked me to marry her.
We bought the wedding rings together, she designed her engagement ring and had it made and I paid for it.
Different strokes for different folks.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 July 2011):
 Everybody is different. Ideally, it would be when he's absolutely certain ( or as humanly certain as one can be in this world of uncertainties ) that he has found the right one AND when it's realistically feasible to get married in a relatively short time, i.e. when he ( or both, actually ) have a place where to live, a steady source of income, clear plans for career and personal goals.
Your BF may be a bit too prudent for your tastes but he shows he has a solid head on his shoulders. And if he says he can't see himself getting married before 5 years, I would not necessarily take it as a joke.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (27 July 2011):
 Every guy is different... but without actually talking to him about it- you won't have much of an idea what he's thinking.
One thing I think you should take seriously though... when he has talked about marriage and weddings- I REALLY doubt he's joking, so take notice and draw the conversation out by asking him why he feels the way he does or if he's being serious or not.
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