A
male
age
51-59,
*omethingeasy
writes:Yeah like the Question says, how long is too long. Ive been alone for like 4 years now. Ive dated off and on since then and meet a few diffrent women, but nothing seems to stick for me. My first major relationship left me all fouled up and alone, and since then Ive been bitter and distant from most people.Ive tried diffrent things, talkin with shrinks, meeting new people, go out with diffrent women. Nothing seems to work for me. How long am I going to be lonely for. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Somethingeasy +, writes (18 March 2008):
Somethingeasy is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yeah thanks again for all the feedback. As for my last relationship, I walked out of that oneand really hadnt looked back much at all. It was probally the smartest desicion I could of made at the time. All I wanted at that time was to really be alone, nd well Im still alone, and looking to not be anymore.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Ive been married for 13 years, divorced. Had a 6 year relationship, and yet been lonely for most of my life except for a few days. So I guess the answer is it depends on the person.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, mskate  +, writes (17 March 2008):
Happiness is choice-dependent.
meaning that you have to Decide to be happy.
if you're unhappy and not actively trying to change your mood, it doesn't matter if you have a million girls or friends or people around you- you're going to be lonely.
you and i both know it has nothing to do with the last girlfriend. you just made it a 'habit' of being lonely.
i know it sounds like poopoo, but everyday, you have to say out loud to yourself- "i want to be happy."
if for no other reason than just feeling stupid and laughing at yourself for being cheesy- at least you're laughing.
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A
male
reader, Somethingeasy +, writes (17 March 2008):
Somethingeasy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the Replies. Yeah last night was one of the few nights alone that I feel saddened and distance, from most. I am however part of a few clubs, and do go to the gym. And the uber cool thing, yeah that sounds like me.
But once again thanks for the replies
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): If you have seen a shrink and you still feel bitter and twisted then they have been giving you the wrong advice. I would go back to the doctors and ask to be referred to another one. There are quite a few different ones out there and just because you got a bad one, doesnt mean that the next one wont be. So keep trying.If it is any consolation i was on my own with my son for 5 years before i met someone, but some of that was of my own choice. I need the space and time to be alone to grow. Use this time to your advantage and stop panicking. We dont all have to be in a relationship to be a whole person. Join some clubs, take up a new hobby, get out there with your mates or meet some new ones. Either way, dont sit about thinking 'woe is me'! Let me know how you get on.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 March 2008):
 This computer keyboard is sticking, I'm sorry for the garbled final paragraph. (Some of the aunts may know why and how to fix a keyboard that has had coffee spilled on it.)
Let me finish my thought here.
Relationships often don't work out, you said "My first major relationship left me all fouled up and alone, and since then Ive been bitter and distant from most people." I don't know what ended the relationship you had, but clearly you have not recovered from it or resolved the issues it caused for you. And you have not found help in friends or therapy.
I think you may have found the wrong therapist(s); you're still trying to deal with the issue.
If you want it to work, you have to go in with the attitude that it will help...
Hope you find what you need and sorry again for the previous post's last paragraph!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 March 2008):
Do you have friends that you just hang out with? I'm not asking about dates or romantic interests here, just friends, from school or work or the gym?
The reason I'm asking is because friends can help you find women that you'd be compatible with, as long as they know you're interested in that... If you're acting uber cool and dismissive of being in a relationship, they may have no idea that you're actually feeling very lonely and would like to date.
I find it interesting that you refer to the therapists you've seen as 'shrinks'--it kind of suggests that you totally dismiss whatever help you might have received from them...
Relationships often don't wMy first major relationship left me all fouled up and alone, and since then Ive been bitter and distant from most people.
ork out, and you said "
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