A
male
age
36-40,
*olidus
writes:Last Night I went out with this girl and after some drinks we came back to my place and had amazing sex. In the morning I drove her home and she gave me her number. Now I'm wondering when I should contact her again. Two female friends of mine say I should wait a few days as to not look needy or desperate. We hooked up on Saturday so I was thinking of hitting her up again on Tues. And keep in mind she doesn't have my number I only have hers. What do you guys think? Thanks! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (9 November 2009):
 Give her a call within a day or two. If she somehow expresses that she is happy to hear from you, then the relationship may continue. If you like her, why not?
A
male
reader, Solidus +, writes (9 November 2009):
Solidus is verified as being by the original poster of the question I've never been the hit it and quit it type. In fact I've never slept with a girl on the first night before. So the fact that she was feeling me that much still astonishes me.
Honestly, right now I don't know if I want a full on relationship or what, but as it happens we've both only been in this new city for about three months. So, whats the harm in having a cool, sweet, cute girl to hang out with? I'm not opposed to spending more time with her and who knows maybe after doing so I will want to a relationship, but as of yet I don't know.
She told me to shoot her a text before hand so she can get my number and know who it is. So, since I had so much fun with her I'm thinking i might text her tomorrow afternoon to ask how she is and tell her i had a good time. then maybe follow that up by calling her later that evening or monday.
Does this sound like a plan or what guys?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): I think she'd appreciate a call the next day. Call. Not text.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (9 November 2009):
Yeah, if you're interested in her besides just sex then you should call her tomorrow afternoon. Waiting until Tuesday is called playing games, like she won't see right through you calling on he third day? If it was just a one-night-stand then don't call her at all, that will only lead her on to think you're somewhat interested.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): There are no rules on when you should give someone you're interested in a call. But ask yourself, why are you calling her, to ask her on a date or just to make her think you're interested because you would like to keep her around as a sexual partner. If you are interested in dating her, actually calling her the next day would have showed her you weren't just using her for sex, but don't feel like you've ruined things because you didn't do that. However, waiting until Tuesday can send mixed messages so call her asap. If you were calling her five minutes after you dropped her off that might be too soon, but that's not the case. Don't worry about appearing desperate, because I haven't meet a girl to this day who thought a guy who contacted them within a day or two of a hook up, thought the guy was desperate. As for the advice you got from your girl friends, the reason they probably gave you that advice is because women aren't used to hearing from a guy that soon (trust I've experienced my share from 4yrs of college), because guys seem to think that calling the next day or two makes them look desperate which is totally not the case! What do you have to lose by giving her a call sooner than later, especially if you like this girl. Now if you want this relationship to remain completely sexual then I would say yeah call her Tuesday, but if you want to pursue something with this girl and actually think you could see her as a girlfriend CALL HER NOW:)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): If you really like her, wait a day. That makes you not appear needy, but also conveys that you are really interested. Play it cool, don't spew how you feel. Just say that you had fun and that you'd like to take her out on an actual date (if that's what you want). You could also send a text, which is non-committal, and she doesn't have to respond if she isn't feeling the same way. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Tatumokeef +, writes (9 November 2009):
 Did you ask for her number or did she just give it to you?If she just gave it you, then Tuesday or Wednesday should be good to give her a call. If you guys had a really good time then it shouldn't be a problem anytime to call her. Usually after the first interaction, it isnt best to contact the day or two after, but there is always a rate case of it working out that way. I wouldn't be too worried about being too needy if you call her in a short period of time. It show her that you are interested in her. Dont wait too long because then she might get the wrong impression. Also dont constantly call her if you dont think the vibe is right. Usually at the end of the date, you can tell whether or not she had a good time and wants to go out again.Waiting til tuesday or wednesday is plently of time. Dont sweat it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): i dont think you need to wait a few days. you already slept together. i think if you like her and if you want to contact her right away you can,, but be aware you slept with this girl the first night you met before you even had her #? ...ask yourself is this really the type of person you want to persue or is it just for the sex? if its just for the sex dont lead her on by making her think you really like her.
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