A
female
age
36-40,
*-gurl704
writes:I am talking to this new guy, we are not official nor are we really exclusive, he still talks to she friend girls as I do my guy friends...however we spend most of our time talking to each other, we love each other, but in october I had sex with my ex and got pregnant...i had an abortion..I confessed to my guy friend and he said that he would let it go, but he always brings it up when we fight..I feel like since we dont officially date that it was not really cheating. If I were actually dating him I would have never went to see my ex in the first place. My quesion is do you think it is considered cheating since we dont officially go out? he tries to compare me to his ex girlfriend who cheated on him with he guy friend, but I dont think he can compare us, because he and her were actually going out when she cheated on him.
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abortion, ex girlfriend, his ex, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): Help me out here, how do you make dating someone official. Like where do you register? If your dating someone you are dating them.
The least someone can expect is that you are only having sex with one person at a time.
Good luck
A
female
reader, d-gurl704 +, writes (23 December 2008):
d-gurl704 is verified as being by the original poster of the question i appreciate your answer...i think when i wrote this I should have been a little bit more specific about me and the new guys relationship because I actually met him online(myspace)..we have seen each other only once, I have never had any sexual contact with him..we have just built a really good connection over the phone. during the time when this happend with my ex me and him were talking, but we werent exclusive..i respect your answer though..Thanks again..
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (23 December 2008):
 If you spend most of your time together and love each other, how can you say you are not actually 'together'. Does someone have to say "as of today we are official" for it to be real? You go through all the motions of going out, but unless someone says those words then you arent going out? Baloney!!! You most certainly were together and I dont blame him for being upset that you HAD SEX WITH another man. You are very lucky he still wants to be with you at all. Pehaps saying the words 'we are official' will help, but I think not.
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A
female
reader, Lib1 +, writes (23 December 2008):
 Oh, my pleasure! I'm glad I could help you. Try out making it official. He might just feel hurt over it because it reminds him of how easily he could lose you (and how he almost did). Some more security would do you both a lot of good.
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A
female
reader, d-gurl704 +, writes (23 December 2008):
d-gurl704 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for you response...it helped alot...just like you said I feel the same way that Im lucky he even still speaks to me...because I know that if the tables was turned I dont know if I could deal with it, everytime he brings it up when we fight I ask him is he ever going to get over what happend, because if not we should just end it now.
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A
female
reader, Lib1 +, writes (23 December 2008):
Well with my ex we were pretty much dating for 4 months before we made it official. Then thing is up to the last month and a half before we became official he would have KILLED me if I was with another guy... even KISSED another guy let alone got pregnant by one. He would have never spoken to me again. So you are realizing now that you two at that time you got pregnant were in what I like to call "exclusively not committed". You're lucky he even still talks to you and date you. I feel you can remedy this hostility towards you is if you make things official. Ask him, "If we make things official will you feel less insecure about my mistake?"
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