A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I am living a situation that have reached its breaking point, I am in United States, but I am not from here, I leave my country of origin 9 years ago, and lived in other country 8 years, during those 8 years I study in the university and now I have a master degree and an amazing job, I came to USA recently, even when I have a great job, I feel personally very lonely, the culture here is extremelly different and people is totally different, even when I speak the language perfect, I feel that, that thing limitates me, I have become very depress, and sad, also my family have always rejected me, and critized me for everything I do. I am always in the last place for my family, or at least that's the way I feel, i have a couple of friends, but nothing really important, they are just people that I just meet, they are nice people, but I still feel bad, I can't come back to my country of origin for political reasons. Right after I got here I meet my boyfriend, he is great, he does everything to please me, but like all guys, he needs time for himself, and I am becoming very needdy because I don't have anybody else that really cares about me, I cry very often, and everything that he does I see it in a negative way, I am always thinking that he doesn't want to be with me. Sometimes I need him, because I look for confort in him, but I know people needs space, and I dont want to smugled him, I don't want him to see me crying anymore, because I am scare that he gets tired of me, even when he has always been very supportive. Can someone give me other views? an advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (23 December 2008):
 I cannot imagine moving to a new place all by myself, let alone to another country where they do not even speak my native tongue. You are a very brave, strong young woman. You have only recently come to the USA and it will take some time to develope the strong relationships you desire. I am so glad you have found a wonderful boyfriend! That helps a lot! But, yes, you do need other relationships so that you do not smother him.
The nice people who you have met ~ they may not be close friends now, but they have to potential to be! Make some dates with some of them. Go have coffee with a new girlfriend. Or invite a couple over for dinner. Even better, cook them your native dishes! Most people love to try another cultures foods, especially when cooked by a native who really knows what they are doing. This will be a good kicking off point to discuss things and begin a friendship. After you have them over, they can have you and you boyfriend to their house and so on and so on.
This will all take some time and a whole lot of effort on your part. I know you are sad that you do not have anyone close to you yet, but it will come, it will come.
Good luck, my dear! It will get better!
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