A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my fiancé broke up about 3 months ago. I still miss him and love him and am holding on to some sort of hope that we will be together in the future. However there is a new guy I have been talking to quite a bit lately.he is such a sweet and respectful guy. there are two problems though. One being I am still not over my ex and two is that he is not the most attractive guy. He is not my usual type. I was wondering if I am being too shallow. How important is the attraction in a relationship? Is it something that you can overcome. I just would like some feedback on this. Thank you so much.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): this is the part where we are suppose to say "real beauty is on the inside" or some other kind of cheesy line like that. To be perfectly honest, for any good true romantic relationship to take place. There has to be some level of attraction, otherwise there is no 'spark' in the relationship. If someone starts hanging out with someone that they are not attracted to, they risk leading the other person on, and hurting their feelings. They also risk resenting themselves for persuing someone they know they are not attracted to. HOWEVER, every person has a certain level of attraction to them, that someone can find. If you are a girl, and a guy is persuing you that you do not find attractive in any way... let him be, tell him you are not intrested because that person (as unfortunate looking as they may be) deserves to be with someone that actually loves them back. Its unfair to take advantage of that.
SO YES, THERE DOES NEED TO BE AT LEAST SOME LEVEL OF ATTRACTION. IF NOT PHYSICAL THAN SOMETHING ELSE. LOOK FOR IT! : )
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 Hi
I agree with hello1 comepletely. I too get more attracted to someone the more i get to know them. And have also spent a few months with someone that would be considred to most good looking, but i never grew to actually fancy him. I guess its just the way it goes and you should spend a bit more time with him, but 3 months isnt long since you split from someone. You may well not be ready yet, and you could meet Brad Pitt at the moment and not fancy him!
Good luck though.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (9 January 2008):
 Attraction is quite important, you need to be at least a bit attractive too a guy to date him. A guy was intrested in me, usually I find people more attractive the more I get to know them but with this guy it didn't happen. He was decent and all but I just wasn't attracted too him. It's only been three months since you split with your ex, it sounds like you need more time. This would just be a rebound relationship. I think you be better waiting
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