A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guysI've been struggling with this for a while.. My boyfriend doesnt respect me. Its hard because I moved in with him a while ago and due to some circumstances I have nowhere else to live. The other day he posted about 9 posters of girls in tiny bikinis with massive boobs, tiny stomachs nice asses, you know the ones.. At first I told him I wasn't comfortable with it but it never matters what I ask or want. His dad and step mum both told him to take down the posters because its so disrespectful to have them up in our room. He replied that it was his room first then continued to tell everyone it was his room not ours and he can do what he wants. (Funny because when the room needs to be cleaned it is suddenly ours) If I want something done or I need to be somewhere at a certain time I have to wait untill he wants to go do it. If he wants sex he has to have it then and there even though for the past few weeks I have been getting these horrible stomach cramps after we do it, he just says well there's nothing I can do about it and leaves me in pain. Whenever I bring up how I feel about things I am shut down and if I persue it he tells me I can leave because he isn't going to change for me. Even though he told me a few months ago to change my whole personality or we were over. Everyday we go out he points out hot girls and has even said' wow if you looked like that..' And 'I wish I could wake up next to her everymorning' in a movie one time he cracked the shits because the main actress did get her boobs out. I am a very good looking girl and a very nice and easy to get along with person. I can't break up with my boyfriend because I don't talk to any of my old friends (because he didn't like them) and I can't talk to any of my family so I have nowhere to live. I can't just tell him how I feel because he will call me a sook and offer me a violin to play some sad music or a cup of concrete to harden the eff up. I don't know what to do I'm so sad all the time somebody please tell me how I can get my boyfriend to respect me more!!! His mates have told him he needs to treat me better and that he is lucky to have me but he just doesn't listen. Ps I do love him very very much!!
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male
reader, kevin3007  +, writes (26 July 2010):
 you know what they say :"once you respect YOUR SELF others have to respect you " you're not gonna die without him i think you should count on your self a littel bit be a roomate with some body and get a job ....and BREAK UP with him he's so dangerous and stop offering your body ...you're an amazing person and you deserve a better life and you're so young and pretty you shouldn't be treated in this way it really pisses me off you're being a great girl friend and he treats you like a slave ....my dear save your life and start with a new page ......good luck (i'll pray for you so you can find a place to live in away from that asshole)....god bless you
A
female
reader, Opalescent +, writes (26 July 2010):
CaringGuy is right.
He is not going to change. I would leave the relationship. No girl deserves to be treated like that and if you want something better the only person who can change that is you. Leave him, he sounds like scum!
I could not imagine a guy who says those awful remarks about other women right infront of his girlfriend. Its obvious that he doesnt respect you at all. Find someone who does because life is too short to be stuck in a bad relationship.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 July 2010):
You've been had, my girl, well and truly had. This guy has sneaked into your life and has wrecked it. He's taken your friends, he's treating you like crap, and like so many women before you, you continue to go back for more.
STOP THIS NOW.
I say that, because you're still sitting there and thinking that he will change, that we can help you make him change.
HE WON'T CHANGE.
I know he won't change, your old friends probably know, and everyone else on this site will know it as well. Even your crappy boyfriend knows it, and has admitted it.
The bottom line is, he won't change. This is your life unless you swallow your pride and go home. He won't change, and to sit there and try to make this work is a total waste of your time. You have a choice. Only one. You can either sit there, continuing with this awful guy who doesn't love you, or give a damn, or you can find a woman's hostel and get away, or go home to your family and admit you got it wrong with him (if you can go home). But that's it. He's said he won't change. I know he won't change. Nothing anyone suggests here will make him change. So either stay and suffer, or leave.
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