A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have read in many articles that men's performance during sex becomes worse as they get older, due to menopause and other factors. Does age really matter in how well a man performs? For ex, is a 30 year old better in bed than a 48 year old?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 May 2010):
Oh, I think a 48 year old, if he's been paying attention, can be a whole lot better in bed than a 30 year old. He's figured out what works for his woman, and for him.
If you mean erections and refractory periods between them, ah well, youth does have its perks.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear Tisha, by "performance" I mean how good they are in bed.
I also have to correct the part about menopause, but you all got what I meant.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (26 May 2010):
Whoa. everybody outta the pool! Since when do men suffer menopause?
As is often said Youth and enthusiasm is no substitute for age and experience!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 May 2010):
What exactly do you mean by the word "performance"?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): Men don't get menopause, but they can get what is commonly referred to as andropause. It is a lowering of testosterone. Normally, a man's testosterone level slowly goes down throughout his life, unlike the sudden hormonal change in women during menopause. However, for some men, sometimes estimated to be as high as 30%, they have a sudden drop in their testosterone level. This commonly causes depression, ED, lack of sexual desire, loss of strength and other things. This could make them not much good in bed if not corrected.
Other than that, it depends on the man, just as how good in bed a woman is depends on the individual. When I was in my 20s and early 30s with my first wife, I was a pretty lousy lover. I just thought that if I had an orgasm that she should be fine too. After we split, I decided to change my way of thinking and do whatever it took to make sure that the woman enjoyed sex at least as much as I did and hopefully more. I was much more affectionate, gave her oral on a regular basis and made sure that she always had at least one orgasm in any session. Not only did I get good comments from the one who I eventually married and a couple of other women, but I also discovered that I enjoyed sex a lot more if she was enjoying it.
Now that my wife and I are in our 60s, we both think that the other is better than when in our late 30s. We have both learned as we continued having sex and read about sexual pleasure. We have both discovered new things to make the other happy in bed. Sure, we don't have sex 8 to 10 times a week any more, but the 4 times a week that we still have sex are very enjoyable for both of us.
If I hadn't decided to change my ways in my mid 30s, I would still be that lousy lover that I was in my 20s and early 30s. Unless a man has health problems that don't allow him to have sex or desire sex then he should get even better with age, at least to a certain point. Of course, he could also get complacent with age and become a worse lover. It depends on the person.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (26 May 2010):
There's the question of quantity vs. quality. At 18 he can go several times in a night. At 50, not so likely. But the older guy has probably learned some patience, which means he's willing to put your pleasure first.
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A
male
reader, Kenneth +, writes (26 May 2010):
It depends on the health of the man. Some older men are much better because of experience. Viagra is also out there to sustain & maintain for older men.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 May 2010):
Women get menopause not men.
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (26 May 2010):
It all depends. Some men will be horrible lovers througout there lives and other will be great throughout.
Using myself, I would say that I am a better lover at 38 than I was in my 20s. The reason? Because I now know what I want, and I know what my partner (wife) wants. I am more willing to try new things, and I am now an unselfish lover.
And to top it off, I have more sex now (3-4 times a week) than I did when I was younger. I just hope it continues throughout my 40s.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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