| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Hello EveryoneI am a 40 yr old single female with a good job, independent and people have told me I am beautiful etc. I take care of myself, play tennis, eat right and as a result was able to maintain my youthful figure etc.The reason why I have gone in such detail about myself is because despite everything that is going right in myself I am very lonely and am not in a relationship and wonder if I'll ever be in one.I am very shy, yes, still at my age in striking up conversation and being at ease with the opposite sexm this area is not my strong point at all. You see I have grown up very sheltered. Yea, I have been intimate with one guy before, but he broke my heart.i know I have been told to put myself out there and socialise and soon I will meet someone etc.....but I don't have many close girl friends to go out with and I don't like going out by myself...my girlfriends are mostly married and have commitments.I really do feel sad and alone at nights, I miss having a guy who I can laugh withm go out with and just call at any time.How do I go about meeting people on my own what do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DLover  +, writes (14 September 2009):
Well, you could join a dating site.
But on a philosophical side, I'd make sure that you know one thing: there is no charming prince on a white horse, anywhere, not even on the web.
Just saying that because some women are really, really, good at scaring a man with a profile that ask for the perfect man only: something like describing yourself for 6 paragraph (which is ok), but then simply saying "I want a man who has common interest". Profile over. That basically says "I want my clone, not a man". Anyways, I wish you good luck !
A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (14 September 2009):
 Here's some yucky truths about being a single, attractive middle-aged female. 1. Other middle-aged women don't really like you much. They're often too busy being jealous of your good looks to really care what sort of person is underneath. When you're intelligent as well as attractive you are a big threat to them, though they'd never admit it. 2. Women who have partners will rarely ever go out with a single female friend. Why? Because married women just tend to become social drones, particularly after they have kids. They mainly like to hang out with other couples, with wives who are happy to bore each other into a coma comparing notes about their families or the latest recipes they've tried. 3. No one is going to come and rescue you, you do have to put yourself out there. I think you'll be surprised how quickly you'll find men wanting to date you. Maybe join an online social network, ( I know it's scary when you're shy, but you may find it very liberating throwing yourself into the situation). I'd suggest avoiding date sites as they're all too often inhabited by sleazy people, and looking for one that organise group activities. I wish you the very best of luck, I know exactly how you feel.
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