A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I have been together 4 months. My previous relationship turned out to be emotionally and verbally abusive, which caused a lot of issues for me. I was holding on to the hurt and fear of what my ex put me thru (2 yrs prior to meeting my current bf) and it caused alot of problems for my new relationship. So my bf said he thought we should break up and that I should take some time to deal w/ those issues so I can move on and committ 100% of myself to our new relationship. As much as I didnt want us to break up I knew what he said was right and that I did need to gain closure b4 I could move on. I finally faced my ex to get closure and start a healing process. After a few days of not seeing my bf we met up and i was excited to tell him about all the positive changes taking place. Come to find out the day after we broke up he went to a club, got drunk and slept w/ an ex he ran into there. I was devistated! Techincally he didnt cheat b/c we were broken up...but it still hurt. Here I was trying to fix things so I could be a better woman and he went out and made that mistake! He apologized time and time again, cried, said how scared he was to loose the woman he loves (me) bc of that but that he had to get it off his chest. I know it was purely a drunken fling and nothing more...and I honsestly feel like he regrets it. We agreed that we wanted to try and make this relationship work (and have a new beginning) so we got back together...but im struggling w/ the idea of trusting him. He said he would do whatever it takes to proove himself and that he understands Im hurt and that it will take time for us to be lovey dovey or intimate again. I just feel like Right after I let go of my past trust issues and hurt...I get this. I guess the questions would be...how do we get thru this? How can you be close or intimate w/ sum1 w/out picturing them w/ the other person. How do you trust someone after something like this happens? I know many many ppl have overcome issues like this...how?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sxcbabiegal  +, writes (20 July 2007):
 i know how you feel my ex boyfriend did exactly the same to me technically yes he wasnt cheating on me either but he knew we were getting back together if they have recently slept together they may still have feelings for eachother BE CAREFUL if you let this go and not say anything it may go into more. first talk to your guy and tell him your insecuritys make sure HE understands and if you have to talk to his ex as well Don't let this go any further and let me know how it works out xx love jodie xx
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