A
female
age
30-35,
*arenival
writes:My now-ex boyfriend broke up with me yesterday, after 11 months (to the day.. 11 month anniversary) of dating each other. He said he just doesn't love me any more. I want to hate him, but I still love him. I accept his flaws, I want to tell him good morning every morning. I still feel like I can fix this, but I know I can't pursue anything any more. I know I can't change anything, but I'm just thinking, what could have I done differently? What hurt the most though, is that I thought we were each others firsts for everything. He told me I was his first kiss, first person to love, first person he wanted to marry. We lost our virginity together, I thought everything was so pure. Then he told me I wasn't actually his first.. he had fingered a girl before, to a girl he didn't love. He went to Mexico and did it and said he didn't feel anything. He tried to make me feel better by saying he didn't feel anything, but it made me feel worse.. did he ever love me? Our first argument was about how he thought I didn't love him, telling me to tell him I did not love him. It was untrue. I have never seen someone that was such a perfect match for me, but apparently connection alone is not enough. He was drawn to how I was "broken". He wanted to fix me. He told me he was a compulsive liar. He wanted to be strong in other's eyes. My first break up, I guess and I just have to ask. How do you love again? How do you truly get over someone who you still think is still so amazing? How will I trust someone again?
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female
reader, karenival +, writes (27 February 2009):
karenival is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwent through so many emotions.. still coping. but doing ok. found out some more bad things about him :/ makes it easier to be angry.
A
female
reader, runnamuck  +, writes (23 February 2009):
i know exactly how u feeling .it suck my ex was my first 4 everything too we were best mates i thought the world of him loved him with all my heart he said i was his best grlfriend and shit evn after 5 months im no where near over him hes suppoably over me .. i still cant get over him .. evertim,e i see him i melt ..its crazy but i do i guess its love ,, it sucks coshe doesnt wanna be with me .. he said the same thing to me that he doesnt feel any thindg for me anymore but when i di see him its like were together .. i not sure how to move on either .. wat im doin is just gettin out three keepin busy and trying to be happi lol i trusted that he wouldnt hurt me he did i trusted him with my heart he abused it .. im struggling to trust ppl cos he was the 1 guy i could trust
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (22 February 2009):
 Time is the only answer. It is still raw so you have no choice but to feel the pain. But just know that EVERYBODY and i mean everybody has gone through this feeling.
Life can't always be perfect and smooth sailing.
The fastest way to heal is try not to remember all the good times but think of the flaws he had. You might have love him but he wasn't perfect. He lied to you about being your first. That's BIG. and he told you he doesn't love you anymore.
You don't want to be with someone that doesn't love you the way you deserve.
Also.. you're holding on too much to all the "first" romantic fantasy. You have to let it go. He's not the one for you. The thing is after a break up, you will always hold a special place in your heart for him...BUT
in Time...you move on with your life, meet someone new and enter new relationships. you are young and one day you will wonder what you ever saw in him.
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