A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I go to grad school, am 25, have a steady boyfriend for 3 years now (though he is 5 states away), and am desperately in love with someone else. The only thing is, this guy is the teacher for my writing class, he's probably in his early to mid 30's, and gosh, I can't get him out of my head. I heard from a third party that he is married with a 3 year old. He wears no wedding ring. I am so attracted to him--I've never ever felt this way about anyone EVER. At first I thought he was really uppity, but going to office hours, somehow we've become very informal with each other, and talk like friends do. Even if I wanted anything, I would have to wait until the school year is over--but I don't think I could ever become a homewrecker. It's like cupid punched me in the eye and in the nose and in the rear. We have sort of intimate eye contact sometime in class (though maybe it's just on my end) and he is so formal with everyone else, but with me ,he just gets goofy and lets the teacher facade melt away (privately of course). What really gets me is how smart he is. And of course, good looking (I'm like 5'2, 95 lbs he's like 6'4, god, we would be so cute together) I don't know if I am in love, but I sure would like to find out, since I've never ever felt this way before. How do I get over this feeling? How do you stop thinking about someone you can never have and try to cherish the one you do have? Gosh, I feel just so happy to see him, just to have him smile at me. It's disgusting.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): Whoa there.He has a three year old!He has a FAMILY?Is he in love with his wife?So he doesn't wear a wedding ring.I have a feeling he isn't married.I suggest you go up to him and tell how you feel.He might feel the same way about you. When i was in college there was a teacher the same age as me and he was married. NOW we are married with two children.I just told him how i felt about him.good luckxxxxxxxxxxxx kiss kiss kiss kiss
A
female
reader, PainIsLove  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 you cant it's hard im going through it
but i focus my self on my hobbies work and friends that gets him off my mind but it is hard
just find a hobbie and have a laugh try and forget about him
good luck :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): I could ruin my current relationship, because that would depend on what I want. But to interfere with a marriage? I think that would be terrible. But at the same time, you are right, you cannot help who you fall for. I have to find out if he is in a relationship, if he isn't, then I suppose he is fair game. But if he is, good lord, there is no way. Possession goes to the first finder.But if he isn't, I wouldn't even know how I am supposed to go about it. I am not quite shy, but how do you talk to someone you like this much? There's no way! I feel like a clumsy teenager, what an odd feeling!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): Talk to him about it!! You seem to really like him. You cant help who you fall for and every1 deserves to be with who they want to be with, even if you do ruin relationships x good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007): I sure hope you're right, TW. We've been on break and won't resume again until the start of the new year--it's been a week and I still cannot get him out of my mind. Everything you've said makes sense though--I feel like a bad person because I wouldn't even hesitate if there was any way we could be together right now. I'll just keep on moving on, I guess. It just makes me feel that perhaps if this is what loving/lusting/liking someone is supposed to be like, then it would be unfair both to my bf and myself to stay with my bf.
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A
male
reader, TomWilkinson +, writes (22 November 2007):
 It's your standard crush on a teacher. "forbidden fruits" are often a lot more desirable than something that would not be "wrong" or impossible. You have a crush on him, like you would any boy, but because it is something that can't happen, it makes you want it even more, and can cause the crush to feel stronger. Trust me, this is not love, I've done the same and the second he no longer teaches / sees you, you'll forget about it.
It could also be the fact your boyfriend is so far away. Due to this, you're looking for that feeling of love with someone you see regularly, without wanting to cheat on your boyfriend, so psychologically you could have created this infactuation, simply because you will not act on it.
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