A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy on holiday 4 years ago and we got on really well and spent the whole holiday together. Then when we came back to the uk he came up to see me and i went down to see him, but it just fizzled out and we lost contact. I actually really feel like i fell for him big time!Then last year he got back in touch through (the dreaded) Facebook and we got chatting and flirting etc. I asked him if he was seeing anyone and he said no, neither was i so i thought that was good. But it turns out he has been seeing a girl for 3 years now, and so i am now left with all these feelings (which are very strong feelings) and i dont know what to do! I cant stop thinking about him and i want to delete him off Facebook but im scared he will think im being horrible. I have also told him previously about my feelings i have for him and he said basically its a bit weird that i should have such strong feelings for him! Which i know is true....I just need to know if anyone has any advice on how to get him out of my head, and move on from him. I have even moved to Cyprus with family but he is still in my head. And it hurts to know i will never be with him! What is wrong with me!?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your replies! I definately feel more positive about it now....i know i need to forget and move one. I just hope i am strong enough to do so! :-) Thank you again x
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (6 November 2010):
 If ever you find yourself flooded with emotions or thoughts of him, distract yourself and push them aside. In time, you will cease to think of him at all, assuming you have already removed all things you have of him, meaning pictures or notes or anything really. Remove him from Facebook, what does it matter what he thinks of you? The point of this whole thing is to remove him from your life and move on.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (6 November 2010):
 If someone had the answer and cure to your question, they'd probably be the richest person in the world! Its never easy to forget someone that you love, but seriously the best things to do are to remove all traces of that person if possible..put away pictures, letters, whatever brings back memories. No contact...do NOT stay in contact with them, it just brings up too many feelings! And when you start having wishful feelings for that person, remember something that they did that was mean or hurtful. EVERY time you think something good, remember something bad about them. I had the most unflattering picture of my ex and whenever I started thinking sad wishful thoughts, I would pull out that picture and laugh at it and think "Oh, he wasn't so cute!" It sounds horrid, but it really did help me. Good luck sweetie, its going to hurt, and it won't go away overnight, but try and remember that there are others out there, and you need to find someone who will treat you right! He's not the only man in the world, don't forget that.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (6 November 2010):
 Don't forget, he lied about seeing someone else. Just delete everything you have on him, and over time, once again, he will just be a distant memory. You need something or someone else in your life to further re enforce this that's all. Other outlets. You know deep in your heart it is for the best. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, ILoveCupid +, writes (6 November 2010):
 In my opinion, one can never completely forget about someone whom had once been in your life. I still remember my first crush back in primary school.
However, you can control how much you think of the person, and the kind of memory that you choose to keep.
To help yourself from thinking about him obsessively, you can get busy with friends, family, school, work, and dating other people. Moving away so you don't see him helps too.
You don't have to erase him from memory. From what you wrote it seems that you had a good time together, there were no bad feelings and he never did anything horrible to you. You can keep the goodwill and remain friends if that's what both of you want and are capable of handling.
The strong feelings will remain for a while, and it can be a long while before you totally get over him. I know how you feel, because I ended with someone I feel very strongly for a while ago and my eyes still go teary whenever I think of him. Relax and don't deliberately think about it, as that'll only make the feelings stronger. Give it some time and the feelings will subside.
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