| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: hi i was woundering how do i relax arounds guys if a guy touched me i go weak in the kness and get nevervous and tense up.the last time i was in nightclub a guy had his arms around my waist and i felt very nervous and shy.i was weak in the kness.the guy told to me relax and i couild,t,because i have no experecnce with guys like that before.i never a boyfreind and even kissed a guy i am afraid too.i,d run mile from it.the guy asked did i wanted a drink i said no iwas fine.did he think i was rejection him.becasue he wasn,t nice to me later on that night,then he started treating me like door and like i was in the waycan any one tell me what just happen there.what did i do wrong to make him turn cold in me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): but do i relax arounds guys .i never had a boyfriend and i never eve got 1st kiss it just seems pointless
A
male
reader, Ed1337  +, writes (12 January 2009):
 Well it sounds like you gave him the impression that you wasn't interested in him at all, especially if he offered to buy you a drink and you turned him down. Most guys will move on if they get no response at a nightclub, because most of them are only looking for one thing.
If your really shy around guys, maybe a nightclub isn't the best place to meet guys for you. Perhaps you should go somewhere where it isn't so loud, so you can have a decent conversation with a guy and get to know them better, that should help you relax more.
Have you tried internet dating at all? yeah you do meet some messed up people, but it will help you to talk to guys and understand them better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): First off, if you are looking for a boyfriend, don't look for him in a bar, men are looking for sex in a bar, not necessarily a girlfriend. This guy sounds like one of those guys if he turned cold on you when you didn't feel comfortable with his hands on you, so you did not do anything wrong.....in fact you may have healthier boundaries than you think...you weren't comfortable having a strange man put his arms around your waist and telling you to relax. Chances are he has radar for women with low self esteem and low self confidence, they are easier to take advantage of.
You will relax around men when you find one who is nice to you and shows you that he is interested in you first as a friend, not a piece of meat. I bet you have a guy in your life already that is your friend and doesn't try to put his hands on you, and you mistakenly think he isn't interested in you because you have a weight problem.
Your weight problem is in your mind....most women think they are too fat and most guys don't care about our weight.
So if you need to work on lowering your weight then do it, push back from the table and get more excercise, it is really pretty simple. And look for a nice man, you won't find him in a bar.
Take care dear.
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