A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for about six months now, we get on amazingly and are very happy together. however, his ex girlfriend is clearly still not over him, they broke up over a year ago but i can see she still loves him.when she first discovered he was seeing me it was on a night out and we were hugging and kissing, she ran to the toilets and cried all night (we have mutual friends who told me this.)i talked things through with her and said i hope shes ok with the situation and that shes able to accept us as a couple (i dont owe her anything-we were never friends, but i know how hard it can be seeing an ex with someone new)anyway, i thought everything was fine, but shes recently been changing her facebook status, making snide remarks about our relationship. its so childish and pathetic, but she keeps commenting on photos of me and my boyfriend saying he's gay (disguising it in a jokey way, but it still gets to me)and just recently she's started sleeping with his best friend (i'm pretty sure this is just to try and get back at my boyfriend, but he doesnt care because he's moved on :s)its hard because i'm away at uni and he works full time back at home so when he goes out with his mates, shes always around with this new guy, but seems to cling to my boyfriend. he's admitted to me that he wishes she'd make her own friends and finds it awkward when she around.i dont know how to ignore her or get her out of our lives... help?
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female
reader, kymommy +, writes (12 January 2009):
if she wants to be childish then let her, shes the one that lokoks dumb. Just find new places to go out or you dont even have to go out at all. But if you want to be extra evil go ahead and go to the places she goes to and make out with him like crazy. Maybe she'll get the hint if not then itll be fun for you.
A
female
reader, shiraz  +, writes (12 January 2009):
i dont think its you that can i think its your boyfriend who needs to speak up! He is the onl one shes really going to listen to and no matter how hard it is to accept its something she needs to do for her own sake as well as yous. Tell your boyfriend that its really getting to you and its not a jealousy thing your just worried shes taking so long to get over it. he needs to take action inb this in order for her to get the message. It must be pissing your bf off a bit and if its starting to affect your relationship then something has to be done now! He has to be fair but firm so she gets the message, its unfair for you to be worrying about this and shes acting in such an immature way proving shes not over him. Tell him you understand her feelings and have been fair and understanding towards her (as you have!) although she hasnt really deserved it! the first few months is understandable but a year on there is still a problem then its quiet serious and its leading everyone to an unhappy and unhelathy relationship. Talk to him and get his advice, you need his input and to be honest its more his mess to sort out, he should be taking control of the situation. best of luck xxx
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A
female
reader, zonks  +, writes (12 January 2009):
see if you can find another cute friend of yours to hang out with your guys best friend?? wicked but then..all's fair ;)
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