A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do you put up with a man who you can't ask questions to? How can there be any proper communication? I'm married for 4 years and at first he didn't mind questions. I'm talking basic questions not silly or uncalled for questions. Example: I'm at work he will message, I'll say so what are you doing are you outside? I ask that cause I know he enjoys being outdoors. His response, "why do you assume"?! Dont ask me that again .
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female
reader, Alwin  +, writes (28 September 2021):
 We need more back story, is he grumpy, does he have a job where he needs to be foccused all the time? IDK like a taxi driver or something. DO you call and ask him where he is to keep tabs on him? I would be annoyed if my partner called me to ask me where I was ( It sounds controlling and I don't like it) unless there's a good reason.
If you don't talk to each other what do you do most of the time when you're awake with him?
If he didn't mind questions first and now he does something has changed, has his mood or demeanor changed? Has he lost his job or are you going through some hard times? Is he annoyed with you because of something? HIs answer sounded pretty harsh.
I had an ex who was also the quiet, silent type, he didn't like to talk about himself, but was very open to talk about abstract things, like philosophy, politics, films, is this the case, where he doesn't want to share personal stuff but otherwise he talks to you?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2021): I'm the OP,
He contacts me at work, and asks questions. It's called communication. So therefore, I should be able to ask questions back.
I don't ask silly questions, or wonder where he is, they're just basic normal questions
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2021): It might not really be the questions, but the timing and frequency. If it's not something important, but more or less just something "by the way" or "just-wondering;" they can be quite annoying when you've dropped what you're doing to answer a call or message. It's also annoying when you ask some strange question out of the clear blue. Do you really want an answer, or were you just trying to get his attention?
Just a little head's-up about how we guys think. Sometimes we menfolk know a call isn't important; it's more or less a checkup or check-in call to see if your man is where he ought to be. He also knows sometimes you're interrupting him on purpose; because you're feeling insecure or suspicious he's up to something while you're not there. Like a parent monitoring and keeping track of a sneaky teenager. If you're a mom, and you've had a curious little toddler, you know how annoying one question after another can be when you're busy, or just taking a moment to rest.
Asking questions just to break the silence to get attention, is also very annoying. I think you know what's really behind your questions. If you've got something on your mind, it's best to come right-out with it; rather than disguising it behind something else, or just asking a thoughtless random-question just because you're bored.
We don't get but one-side of this issue. He doesn't get to defend himself; or explain what it is that makes him annoyed when you ask him questions. I'm playing the devil's advocate here; so other responses may be more to your liking. If he thinks you already know the answer to your question; he knows you have something on your mind, but you won't spit it out. The unclear context of a question, or indirectness of a question will annoy anybody. Questions that are asked to catch a person in a lie, top the list of annoying questions!
If you feel he's not where he's supposed to be when he supposed to be, or he doesn't explain things to you well enough; then tell him that's what you really want to know. Otherwise, he'll think you're picking or nagging at his nerves; and he might respond rudely. It's not nice to do that; but he knows you better than we do.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (27 September 2021):
 Sounds like the communication between the pair of you needs to be worked on.
What are your conversations like in person when your not texting each other?.
The example that you chose to use, why don't you simply just ask how his day is going, what is he up to?. He can then answer and probably say somewhere in his answer if he is inside or outside, then you won't be accused of assuming.
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