A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:this is my story....i have just split up with by boyfriend of just over 2 years (we also where engaged only to cement the relationship). he got violent and was arrested for assalt because he was drunk and insecure accusing me of sleeping around and organising going for a drink with my sons godfarther (nothing was organised just spoke about). may i just add that i had never looked at any other man in a sexual way. there was a 12 year age gap and he is now 19 (i know young but that was never an issue for us and we worked very well and loved each other so much) he since has been messing with my mind. saying he wants me back and he loves me ect... i feel he knows i love him and would hav him back but it can not be... too much damage for him to but right bacause i feel he don't know how to the right way. he now wants a secret relationship where we just play it back to basics and enjoy each other. but when i asked him is that what he wants he replyed its up to u but im not bothered.i feel i need to move on but how do i let some one go who i truley love and how do i get them out of my head? please help me rebuild my life... one tormented mind.
View related questions:
drunk, engaged, insecure, move on, split up, violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2007): I find myself in a similar situation and because of pressure from his parents (age and culture difference and my children), he again could not make up his mind whether to leave me or not. We have had our differences and broken up so many times, but he constantly came back, and I took him back, which was wrong of me too. I should not have allowed him back into my life. So this time round I made the decision to end it, for good. Although I know that I'm bluffing myself and would take him back in a heart beat, but I also know that the age difference of 12 years is the biggest issue and the other smaller things that has been eating away at this relationship. The games he play, the accusations, the hurtful things that he says, without thinking for one minute that it might just hurt me. Breaking off the relationship, seeing me hurt and cry and then a week or 2 latter pretending as if nothing has ever happened, not even apologizing for putting me through all the agony and pain.I know everyone will say that this shows his immaturity and that I should get rid of him. I find it hard to let go of him, I know that I have to and I also know that in the long run it will be the best thing that I can do for myself, for my own sanity. So, I'm gonna try my level best to forgive him and forget him. Hard as it may seem. Because I've never loved so deeply, but I need to get focused on my life for a change, for everything I ever did the past 2 years was just filled with him - 24/7!
A
female
reader, soletshearit +, writes (23 October 2007):
 Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants...you have to remember a few things...men are more immature than women especially when it comes to emotional issues and issues of the heart, secondly...he's 19 how could he possibly know what he wants and you can't expect that of him, and lastly...if my maths are correct you are old enough to know that his mind playing is him trying to protect himself...saying he's not bothered is him trying to hurt you to protect himself.
To be plain honest, I think you should move on regardless of how much you might truely love him the relationship doesn't sound healthy and from experience i've learned that when there's issues of insecurities or game playing going on a relationship is doomed from there!
You are better to rebuild your life and move on, as hard as it may seem...I thought i'd never find anyone after I had to break up with my last bf...who was much younger and way more immature emotionally than me...there were insecurity issues and all sorts of game playing, confusion....I broke away so many times and then would end up taking him back...I can honestly tell you now that I am so glad that I broke away...it wasn't healthy what we had and in love as I was...
I hope this helps coming from someone with a similar experience
...............................
|
