A
female
age
30-35,
*aurenxConstance
writes:How do you let everything go when you have become so comfortable with being in the situation? You cant sleep without the person by your side, cant remember doing anything without the person for so long that the littlest thought of leaving and walking away makes you freak out.. Having all the memories of amazing times together and even remembering the way the person smells, tastes, acts, ect...your one and only true best friend...=/ How do you give up on someone you promised you would always love and you still do...but you cant handle being in the postion in life with irresponsible and dishonesty with money, and everything in general. Your not even whole for yourself, how could you have put so much effort for so long into someone elses life, and then regret falling so far into love and wholeness with a person that no matter their flaws you cant give it up, you cant throw it all away. You have befriended all of the persons friends, and have become completely wound up in the life of this person. They know everything about you, and your home life. They are close-knit with your family, and they participate in every holiday together. How do you give up everything, knowing that it is the right thing to do at the moment, but fear never seeing the person again. Never feeling the warmth of their skin next to you when you sleep, and the feeling of their embracing arms wrapped around you when your upset. But then again, how do you know that this all wasnt a game from the beginning and that you were just a pawn on the game board? How do you honestly know the truth about anything anymore..they know everything about you, but your learning slowly but surely that you may not know fully about them. That maybe you put your heart and soul into something that really was just a lost cause...that maybe this person no matter how hard you try to help them will never change... How do you cope with knowing that maybe this person isnt who you were meant to be with...that you completely wasting your time loving, caring, and completly and devoutly committing to the person for so long and didnt realize anything before..How is it possible to go through many years of being comfortable in a certain position, and then all of a sudden realizing that nothing you did in your life so far was anything that you actually wanted to do. That all you might have been searching for was companionship. Someone to prove to you that it was possible to completly fall in true love and take care of each other...And how do you tell the person without losing them forever that you made a mistake..? How do you love someone and want to be with them and love them, but at the same time question every single thing you have ever done in your life? Do you just let everything keep goiing the way that it is, or give up completely...?
View related questions:
best friend, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bardia +, writes (19 December 2011):
 Like someone else posted, I've had the exact same experience & I'm still trying to sort through it. We've talked-a lot-almost too much at times. I believe you'll never know how a relationship will go if you don't throw yourself into it. It's the risk we take for something as important as 'true love'. There are times you have to take inventory of the relationship, to see where it is & where it's going. And sometimes (like in my case), we just need to relax & allow the other person time to change & grow. My BF has changed, but it's been very slow & frustrating at times, especially knowing what I've invested in this relationship. But again, there HAS been change. Keep holding on to hope. And remember love is about giving and forgiving. Talk with your partner. Set a mental timeline for yourself to decide what you want & to see if that person can really give it to you. You'll know what to do in time.
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (19 December 2011):
 Wow, i've just read through this post and it is so relevant to me!! I'm in exactly the same situation. I don't have an answer for this, as i am currently stuck on what to do myself.
I guess the only advice i can give is to follow whatever makes you happiest x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2011): this sounds very philosophical but clearly this person means a lot to you and if you feel so strongly hopefully they do too. if they do they should not want to lose you so you might want to put your foot down or tell them you feel like leaving because that might bring about the change you want. just remember you deserve to be happy so leaving should be your plan b, but obviously this is completely up to you, good luck :-)
...............................
|
