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female
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anonymous
writes:I will keep this short and sweet. Whats the most effective method of mending a broken heart, in the early days when you dont even want to get out of bed and when you feel so low you actually dont know what to do. I know the cliche - time is a good healer - but how do you get through those first days after a break up when all you want is that person back but they are gone for good?
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female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 Hi,I know its hard to let go of someone you love and that was a big part of your life.. But, know that you are not alone and we all been through that, so you'll survive. This person broke your heart, so its normal to feel all these mix emotions, love is big part, but more so the attachment, having someone there for you for so long is hard!!! Its hard to move on without your ex-! Change is hard! Take all the time you need to feel grief and let this pain out of you... Don't punish yourself because you deserve to have your time to heal, cry, feel depress, etc...days, weeks, months?.. Do whatever you have to do.. But, don't let it go for too long! How fast you want to heal and move on depends on you! You cannot control your feelings, thoughts, emotions, but you got to push yourself everyday to continue to live a happy, healthy life. Take this as a new opportunity to new beginnings. When you are feeling weak, down, think of him... Out and about, living a happy life without you.. So why are you suffering for someone that is out of your life? Think of all the things you wanted to do, but couldn't because you didn't have time before. You will find someone that will love you, appreciate you the way you deserve. But, in order to accomplish that, you need to love yourself!!!1) Spend time w/family, friends2) Exercise, eat well, keep yourself busy3) Make new friends4) Go shopping, do things that make you feel happyLooking beautiful, feeling beautiful, positive energy, will attract people to you.. That will make you feel better, give your confidence back!You are young, have a full life ahead, God have big plans for you, and this happened because he doesn't deserve you, the love of your life is out there! So you need to get out, put yourself together, positive energy, smile, and most importantly, love yourself, so someone will love you too...Don't think of him anymore, but in case if you see him, I want him to see you beautiful, strong, happy, full of confidence. Imagine the shock he'll have? He might even regret, get intrigue, but that will be too late, because you already have move on with your new life! I know its hard, but its all in your head, push yourself and control your mind! You need to be strong! Eat well Look beautiful Think positive So things that make you happy!!!Good luck!Feel better soon!!!
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female
reader, Larissalover1  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 do not listen to sad music or lovesongs! it makes it horrible! trust me!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): for that first day surround yourself with those people who really love you. Be it close friends or family. People who can make you laugh. Then honestly this helps a lot, think of the persons worst attributes. And kinda poke fun at them, it may seem harsh and mean, but seriously it helps. And cry it ALL out. Just cry and poke fun best you can and be around those who love you. In the end feel relieved you dont have to worry about that other person. You can do you and be free. Life has its ups and downs, you have to go through down time to get back up again. I hope this helps, a broken heart is one of the worst feelings in the world.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): I've found that the first few days and weeks (months even!) are by far the worse times after a break-up. You feel so disorientated and the loss is like grieving for a loved one who has died.
Talking to friends, keeping busy and planning things for yourself like trips away, new hobbies, etc all help. Even reading through the archives of DearCupid helped me. It helped to know there were other people out there who have been through the trauma of a relationship breakdown and found ways of getting through it.
It's not easy, but you will get through it and one day look back without the pain you are suffering now.
Hope this helps.
--GoodDog---
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female
reader, NennaHB  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 It has been said time heals all wounds. I don't agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone.
I used to focus on the bad aspects of my ex and of the whole relationship. That didnt leave me time to regret the good times. Hope it can work for you too. Best thoughts!
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