A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I would just like to ask if anyone knows how to forget about someone, and get rid of memories of someone they onced cared about?About a year and a half ago I very nearly got with the most fantastic girl i ever met - asked her out and she said yes but the following day she said it wasn't right for her and that was that.The problem is I can't seem to forget about it, and I fear it will affect my possible relationships I might have in hthe future. I have had a gf since, but that ended for its own reasons yet I must admit even that didn't stop me from wondering what might have been with the first girl.I've now finished uni and won't ever the girl again, so really need to just get her out of head once and for all. Any tips? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, shiva 4m kkd  +, writes (16 July 2010):
 i liked the way u said by i i dont like it
A
male
reader, look samurai dick +, writes (1 October 2008):
meeting new girls, the more the merrier.... and the obvious ticking time but your best not to watch that when you should have better things to be looking at.(-?
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (8 July 2008):
 Time.
C xxxxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): Why would you WANT to forget how a girl made you feel? That feeling of overall kick-assness is yours to keep.
The bad memories will shimmer and then fade away over time and you'll feel only nostalgia for the good stuff.
All you gotta do now is keep looking around until you find another girl that inspires those feelings.
Our pain, and how we deal with it, is at least as important as our happiness and how we deal with that.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, Transcowboy  +, writes (8 July 2008):
 You never get rid of the memories completely, trust me on this. Everyday will get a bit better tho. You will still have times you remember and you will smile. You will meet someone else who is even more incredible then you could ever dream. I always think of the song "unanswered prayers" just because you think this girl is the one for you at the time, The man upstairs thinks differently and you will look back one day and be thankful.
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (8 July 2008):
 You were hit by the thunderbolt, my friend. It happens if you're lucky maybe a few times in your lifetime. It's an amazing thing when you meet someone that totally hooks you, and even if you never connect with her, as in your case, you can't get her out of your mind. It was not meant to be, but maybe you were not meant to forget her.
I never forget my most memorable relationships of the past. They hold a special place in my memory. Even though, they are long in my past I choose not to focus on the negative, the things that didnt make it work, and instead polish up the good memories and and keep them special inside.
My advice is not to forget her but remember her, even though you put her behind you. Life you will find is about a collection of memories. It's not about the material things you collect, but experiences you have the people you meet, the loves in your life, good and bad.
If I had a moment in time like you had instead of trying to forget her you treasure what you had, that one moment, even if it was just a moment. I am not saying you obsess about it...not that. but put her in a place where everytime you think about her...you smile.
Eventually she will be with another man...its inevitable. She will be happy and far away from you. She will forget you.
But what you had and felt with her..that is special. Hold it treasure it, dont try to forget it. It's real.
Someday you will find another woman to replace what you thought you would have had with her. And when you do get married to her, you will forget the other girl and not be obsessed with her memory...but dont be surprised if in one quiet moment, you'll remember that one girl from that one day, it will make you feel good....then you will go to your wife and kiss her.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (8 July 2008):
 The best way to replace an old memory, is with a new one. Not of that person, but of someone new. But I think the bigger concern here is that you only had one date with this woman, and still you cannot get over her. That is unusual. You may be suffering some self esteem issues that go beyond the normal heart break. After all, you barely knew her. Most guys wouldn't even remember her name after being dumped by her so quickly. Maybe therapy could help you move on in healthy ways. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, concerned88 +, writes (8 July 2008):
i think you are giving this girl too much thought. she didnt even give you a chance, she just blew you off. theres nothing you can do to forget about someone who meant something to you. only time can heal the wounds of the heart.
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