A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone, i'm 20 years old and i'm with a 27 year old man. we have been together for a year and a half. my love from him is fading away. it is a long distance relationship, different countries. at the beginning everything was good, and we were all lovey dovey.. but the problem is that first of all, he doesnt call.. we can not speak on the phone for months.. the most was like 5 months.. yet we speak on msn, but its still not the same.. i cant take it anymore.. i feel like he doesnt care.. also when i go online on msn i used to text him tell him to come online, but he doesnt do that.. so when i asked him, he said hes not gonna die if he doesnt talk to me everyday.. its like he doesnt feel the need to talk to me.. he talks to me only when he finds me already online.. furthermore, he has no self confidence, he hates himself, he thinks hes boring and i honestly think so too, he thinks hes a failure.. i tried everything to make him feel better abt himself but its not working.. i cant seem to take it anymore.. he always tells me that hes gonna change.. but that doesnt happen.. one more thing.. he doesnt tell me he loves me.. i can count the times he has said that in a year and a half. please help me. he says he knows hes unfair on me and he thinks he doesnt deserve me.. i feel guilty for leaving him but im not happy in this relationship what so ever.
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confidence, different countries, long distance, msn, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): Damm that's brutal, i am going through something similar like this. You sound exactly like my LDR g/f. However i suffer from depression and anxiety which led me to act the way you describe your b/f is acting. Im not sure if your b/f has any mental illness's but you should ask him before leaving him for good. I am in 5 year LDR and my g/f understands me alot more after i explained to her about my depression and anxiety which causes me to act the way you describe your b/f is acting. (i told her 1 year into our LDR which was about 4 years ago) Anyway since then she has stuck by me no matter what. Im not sure if she still loves me or just does it out of feeling sorry for me but all i know is that we are still together and she has never let me down. ITs hard man but that's life, i suggest talking to him. If he is doing this on purpose and just generally acting like a douche bag with no reasonable excuse then i think you should move on. Goodluck
A
female
reader, AskLadyJuJu  +, writes (28 October 2009):
 i think you should move on because although he doesnt want to lose you hes putting no effort and the fact that its long distance makes it worse..if he put more effort u probably wouldnt have minded the long distance thing becuz u came this far with it being like that. i beleive you should tell him how you feel just like you did here and if he seems not to care just let go and move on. and the fact that he hates himself and hes just insecure about himself is a complete turnoff for you too.. i can only imagine what ur feeling ..its stressful ..goodluck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): Hey,I can't tell from your post whether you ever meet up with this guy, or whether the relationship is conducted only online/over the phone.Regardless, you don't really seem to be getting anything out of it, and from the lack of effort/commitment on his part, neither does he.In your last line you say you're not happy with him whatsoever. I think you have your answer there.End the relationship and be kind to both of you.Life is too short. Find someone you can be with, have fun with, go places, kiss, hig, tell each other you love each other. It will be so much more rewarding - and you'll look back and wonder why you stayed in an unhappy situation for over a year.Good luck.
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