A
male
age
30-35,
Phsyciatrist-to-be
writes:I read a question posted recently that got me thinking: Can you fall in love before sex?Well, the answer is plain and simple: of course! But what I started thinking about was, how do people view love and sex? I know for a fact, for instance, that if I asked most of my classmates the question; what do you think a relationship is about? I would get answers as follows:Being together - about 5/10%, Going out on dates - 10/15%, SEX! - all that's left over.So, how do you define love? If all people seem to think about is sex, then why do we bother with relationships anyway?It's because, at some point, almost everyone finds that one special person: the one they can share anything with and not be ashamed. Even if they only really like them because they're good in bed, those simple things can mean all the world to someone. The problem, of course, is finding that special someone. People look and look, they try time and time again, and in the end get frustrated and give up, resigning themselves to a life of loneliness and mindless sex and other pointless exploits.But I have a message to all those in the same position as me: DONT GIVE UP! I'm 15, I've never have a girlfriend, and people are actually starting to think I'm gay. But the thought of actually finding love, that moment when you truly know you've found you're partner has kept me going. And it will for as many years as it takes.But I've deviated from my original point: How can you define love? What is the modern take on relationships these days? Is it just sex? Or is it something more? I can't speak for the world's population, but I can speak for myself.To me, a girlfriend would mean "closeness." Yes, fine, I would undoubtedly look forward to any "eventfull" evenings, but I think the best thing about being in love, is when they love you back. It's when you can sit and watch TV or something, and they will come and sit with you, and lay their head on your shoulder. When you can walk together, talk honestly to each other, basically do anything together, and continue loving each other the whole time.At those little moments when you hug, and they whisper to you three words:"I love you."To me, all the waiting in the world would be worth those 5 seconds of knowing one thing:"I'm the luckiest guy on the planet." Reply to this Article
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male
reader, xnickx  +, writes (23 July 2008):
 You're 100% right.
Sex doesn't mean love. If you have sex before you love it's probably just lust.
About finding that "special person" though, never give up. I personally say if someone shows interest in you, you should at least try to get to know them cause you never know.
I was in the same deal. I'm 15 and never had a "real" girlfriend that i really cared about (just when your like 8 and you have one cause it's cool) until recently. It does not mean your gay.
Anyway, never give up cause if you try you will find "her". Just be nice to people and you will find the right girl.
In responce to Shaunte: I love you is powerful, but is very overused and can be taken as advancing a relationship too fast for many girls.
to PsyCookie: Ia agree 100%. More young people like me and psychaiatrist-to-be need to see this kind of stuff. Most guys i know just want to get in her pants and then leave her. But love should be about trust and just wanting to be there for the other person.
You can find love if you look hard enough.
A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (15 July 2008):
 This was very precious to read. I just wish many people your age would think like you.
Those people are incredibly silly. Sex does not automatically mean "to be in love". Thankfully, you have seen through this illusion and you will probably will not be devastated like those kids when they find the real truth.
To me, being in love is to feel secure with the person. To know that no matter what you do or say, that they'll be there for you. That no matter how many times you fall, the person will extend their hand and say "let me help you". Being in love is being honest with the person and knowing the person. To feel truely happy. To see that whatever problems the relationship has, that you both will always get through them.
To know that you mean the world to your lover, and that your lover means the world to you.
I hope people read this.
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A
female
reader, Shaunte1youngmama +, writes (15 July 2008):
Well your right and you are suposed to find love before sex and people should express your self by saying "I love you."
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