A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:How do you come to terms with the decisions you've made in life? I got married at 19 because my mother died suddenly and I had no direction in my life. By age 23, I realized I had made a mistake. My husband and I had nothing in common. He was moody and withdrawn emotionally. I did a stupid thing, and had an affair. Three months later I got pregnant. My husband had already said he didn't want kids. So I let him talk me into an abortion because I was afraid if I had the baby, he would later discover it wasn't his. After the affair ended, I was heart broken, but I tried to be a good wife. For a few years, I thought I had made the right decision. My husband and I actually started talking about having a family and he agreed to let me go off the Pill. Six months later, I got pregnant. I was elated. My husband was upset. He still didn't want kids and now I had to chose, my marriage, or the baby. I didn't want to have another abortion because I vowed I would never do that again, so I found this weird catholic prayer. I didn't even think it would work, but for 7 days I asked God to take the baby from me because I couldn't fanthom being alone, and raising a kid by myself. On the 7th day, I miscarried. I was shocked and relieved and then later, I felt remorse. I had done this and God had granted me my prayer. It was like I'd had another abortion, but I hadn't. I tried to put myself back into my marriage, but over the course of the next several years, I had a string of affairs. I loved my husband but there was so much missing from our relationship. I never felt connected to him, though he was generous to me, always gave me wonderful things at Christmas and on my b/day, took me on great holidays but he rarely talked to me, and our intimacy suffered. After my dad died, I became involved with another man and fell in love. This time, I wasn't going to risk losing someone who made me feel alive. I moved out of the house my husband and I shared and started saving up for a divorce. Surprisingly enough, my husband was devastated. But even though I hated hurting him, I felt like our marriage was empty and had no real purpose. I can't help but wish that I could turn back the clock though and re-do parts of my life. Because if I could, I would not have an affair with the first guy, who got me pregnant. I feel like it cursed my marriage and it set the wheels in motion for its demise. Or would it have failed anyhow because we were ill-suited for each other and it just took me that long to figure it out? I can't help but wonder that one day when I stand before God, he will judge me harshly for what I've done and I will not spend eternity in heaven because of it. I just don't know how to come to terms with all of this and I wonder if my next marriage will be doomed for failure as my curse in life. I don't know what to do!
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female
reader, Serinity  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 First of all, we all sin (Isaiah 53:6 "We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way" and Romans 3:23 "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God").
The fact that you recognize your sin and feel badly about it should give you encouragement for several reasons. For one thing, a lot of people sin and don't think there's anything wrong with it - yet God has opened your eyes to seeing how destructive it can be. But God does not want you to live with guilt. He wants you to know and fully experience His forgiveness.
God does not simply overlook our sin and say, "You're forgiven." God sees our sin but is ready to forgive us because Jesus fully took OUR sin on Himself and paid for our sin by His death on the cross. Our sin is serious and it cost Jesus incredible suffering. But from the moment we received Christ into our lives, His forgiveness is ours. We can't ever make up for our own sin or suffer enough for it -nor does God want us to. "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" Romans 5:8.
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1John 1:9
We are told that Satan is the "accuser of the brethren", meaning that Satan will try to convince us that God could never love us. We need to recognize those thoughts as lies and instead choose to believe what God says. What God says about us in His Word (the Bible) is truer than anything we could think or feel. Jesus said that those who build their lives on His word are those whose lives stand strong and secure, able to weather anything in life (see Matthew 7:24-27).
If you've asked God to forgive you and to come into your life -- you are forgiven!!! His word says so. Thank Him for His forgiveness and begin to rejoice in your secure relationship with Him. He is able to change areas of your life that don’t line up with His desire for you.
1 Corinthians 1:9 says, “God is faithful, through whom you were called into fellowship with his Son, Christ Jesus our Lord.”
God Bless you.
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 there is no curse, there is no karma to wat you've done...you have made mistakes, you have learned from them. wat you did does not make you an awful person or any less deserving of love, happiness and forgivness. this man that you were married to treated you wrongly - not in the more obvious way though, he denied you the intimacy that every marriage needs to survive. my advice is to cherish this second chance at happiness that you have been given and make decisions for you - not anybody else. this is wat god has given you, so make him proud!! enjoy the rest of your life and learn from it! i hope this helps in some way, if you want any more advice xxx
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