A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:It's a bit of a funny thing that is becoming not funny really fast. Me and my partner have vastly different temperatures at which we are comfortable. It's especially pronounced at nighttime, as the temperature that makes him feel OK-ish feels suffocating to me, I have trouble falling asleep and wake up nauseous. When the temperature is more to my liking, he gets a sore throat and runny nose in the mornings.We determined the issue is in fact the air temperature, so no amount of clothing or heating pads will be of any help. I feel desperate for "fresh" air, but this irritates his throat and nose as he breathes.When living alone, I was used to keeping the window open at night with the heater off to about freezing point, then I'd close the window. I was OK sleeping with a room temperature of around 10°C (under two thick duvets piled on me), but anything below 20°C is fine for me. I love camping and frequently sleep outside at any rate.There's a bit of a problem with keeping the apartment in a lower temperature range without overdoing it - even with the heater off it gets really warm (I assume it's the neighbors) and to get to a reasonable temperature for me we need to open the window. But keeping an open window all night is too cold for him, and it gets really warm really fast after the window is closed.It's becoming a problem we don't know how to solve Reply to this Question
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female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (31 October 2017):
 Firstly, are you both healthy and of healthy weight?
Do you suffer from blood pressure issues, or does your partner have a circulatory issue that prevents him from warming up more easily?
My comments may sound very strange, however, these are some facts that do exist and can affect your body temperature and many people are totally unaware.
If you're unsure, you should both visit your GP just to rule out anything underlying that you're both unaware of.
I have a friend and she's going through exactly what you and your partner are going through and sadly, she's found out at only 31 years of age, that she's in early peri-menopause, hence her feeling warmer/hot all the time.
For her, it is genetic.
Early menopause can be a factor, although i can see you're still quite young, however, it does happen to a small proportion of younger women globally.
If all above is ruled out, then you may both try to come to a mutual agreement regarding a comfortable temperature, however, if this fails still, then you may both have to sleep in separate rooms, or sleep with separate covers, so then you can both feel as cool or as warm as you desire.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2017): Just don't share a bed it's simple .. unless one of you gives in don't share a bed
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2017): I would say a comfortable temperature for a room is around 20 degrees and maybe a little cooler in a bedroom at night when you've got a duvet on. Get a thermometer and check what temperature the room is. If one of you is always hot or cold there may be an underlying medical issue. The colder person could wear extra layer in bed and get a separate extra warm duvet. Or you could sleep in separate rooms.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 October 2017):
 I don't like sleeping in a warm room, I'd rather grab an extra blanket myself. If it's too warm (out house has no AC) so in summer it can get nasty hot - thankfully my husband feels the same. The kids, however, are fine either way.
I really think the ONLY way to "fix" this is to, like Auntie Cindy says, not sleep in the same room.
You could try a middle temp - that's not too hot for you and not too cold for him, though that might be harder to control.
One thing I have learned is when the house is REALLY cold in winter - I wear socks to bed (something I'm not a fan off) but keeping the feet warm usually keeps the rest of the body cosy.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 October 2017):
 If you were in a train or other public places, your husband would win , no contest :). The unwritten laws of etiquette say that the " cold " one dictates the temperature and if the window should be open or not.( I think it may be a remnant from the times when people were afraid of drafts because a sore throat or a cold could rapidly progress to something incurable and mortal ).
Being this a problem not of etiquette or of being right, but just of cohabitation- I am afraid that I have no other brilliant solution than NOT to share a bed. You are both miserable if you have to sleep at the other's chosen temperature, and getting a good night'sleep is important for your health and your mood- more than the cozyness of co-sleeping. If you both have tried it all, to no avail yet- I am sorry that I cannot come up with anything smarter but I would simply go to sleep in a spare room, or if you don't have one , on the living room's sofa. You can take turns if it's less comfortable than your bedroom.
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