A
male
age
41-50,
*egoman
writes:Dear Cupid,Last year I had my heart broken, and found myself single again after a 10 year relationship. I decided at the time that I wasn't going to wallow in self pity and got myself out of the house and joined a group of people doing something I have wanted to for ages which is Samba Drumming.At the group I met this woman who I instantly liked and at the start of this year I e-mailed her asking if she would like to go out sometime. She sent me a lovely reply, but declined my offer saying that she was in a relationship but it was complicated. I thanked her for her reply and left it at that.Recently however, we have been spending a lot of time together working on some environmental projects, and having a few nights out with other mutual friends. My feelings for her haven't changed, and she has been really good fun to hang out with and I feel that we have become a lot closer (e-mailing, texting on a regular basis etc). She is quite a shy person and we have so much in common.The problem I have is that my confidence when it comes to relationships is a bit rocky, and I don't know whether she feels the same about me as I do about her, and I don't know how best to approach her, I don't after all want to ruin a good friendship.Any advice would be really appreciated as I can't stop thinking about her.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 November 2010):
 You can either discreetly make enquiries through your common friend . Or even ask her directly, but not like grilling her, more casually , in conversation. Something like : I guess your boyfriend does not like samba. Or " Does your boyfriend ever took you to... ? "
Of course nothing prevents you from just being brave and give it a second try regardless.
But I think that one thing is being able to handle rejection, and another go courting it...
A
male
reader, Legoman +, writes (18 November 2010):
Legoman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Cindy,
Thank you for your reply, I have to say that I am confused, as we have spent quite a bit of time in each others company, and I have never seen her with another man and she has never mentioned one in conversation with me or when we have been with friends. So I don't know what to do???
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (18 November 2010):
I guess it depends if she is still in the same relationship-but-it's-complicated that she was in at the beginning of this year.
If her situation is still the same, probably also her negative answer would be the same.
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