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How do ladies feel about their man going to a strip club?

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Question - (24 January 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 1 February 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ladies, how do you feel if your boyfriend goes to a strip club? My boyfriend has been to a few over the last year for bachelor parties. I feel like him seeing other girls half naked makes me less appealing. It makes me super insecure about myself and I don't like him going.

However, he only compliments my body, never makes comparisons between me and the dancers or anything like that. I would never ask him to not go to a bachelor party but I simply just can't shake my insecurities.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011):

me and my bf go together.its a turn on for him...plus i get more attention from the girls.. he loves to watch a girl give me a lap dance.. we only done this 3 times..but if he gets invited by his friends he will always ask if he can bring me, i trust him and since he sees that im open to it and we do it as our thing. and the sex after we get home is amazing!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011):

I agree with sammi star below about much of this BUT strip clubs are places where prostitution is actively engaged in and it's easier to treat someone like a insignificant piece of trash when you see them as "not real".

That is part of the problem. Some guys have sex with strippers at their bachelor parties, and don't consider it cheating...really...

So, would I do it.

No, and I like a naked woman's body as much as anyone. But, this way my wife doesn't have to worry about it in any way, shape, or form, or feel insecure about herself, and her peace of mind is far more important than anything else.

I don't go to strip clubs, and if I'm at a party and a stripper shows up I'd just politely excuse myself and GO HOME TO MY WIFE.

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A female reader, fi_the_tree United Kingdom +, writes (24 January 2011):

fi_the_tree agony auntWhen i was in Australia, i knew a group of guys (who were my friends too) that always went to strip clubs on random nights out. One night, i ended up going out with them and they walked past this strip club. All of them kind of looked at me, and i said if they wanted to go in that i would go with them. So we get into this club and get the drinks in. It was kinda between 'shows' as it were so they were just playing some music. I grabbed one of the guys messing around and began dancing with him. After a while i noticed that the floor shows had started and there were girls on the podiums writhing around, but all my friends had their eyes on me!!!

I got kinda embarrassed and sat down, and we all laughed about it, but it was certainley an experience. My point is, even though there were girls wearing next to nothing dotted around this club, all 5 of my friends were staring at me. I mean, i looked nothing like those girls up there. So because i've experienced what a strip club is like, i wouldn't have a problem with my man going, Because i would make sure to give him a freebie private showing when he got home ;)

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (24 January 2011):

k_c100 agony auntWell, this is just my personal opinion, but if it is for a bachelor party and he would never normally go to a strip club on any other occasion, then it is fine. It is just the 'bachelor's' last night of freedom, and men seem to feel the need on these nights out to be as masculine as they can - hence why strippers are involved. But it is just a bit of a laugh for them and a way to embarass the 'bachelor' by paying for him to get as many dances as they can. When they go to these places it is just a bit of fun, they have a few drinks and they find it funny - the majority of the guys dont really get that turned on by it because after all, who wants to get hard in front of their mates?!

But if my boyfriend went to these clubs on a regular basis, on nights that were not bachelor parties - then I would be worried that he has a bit of a problem.

Most men who go to strip clubs on bachelor parties would never want a girlfriend who looked like a stripper - after all it is pretty skanky and men want a girl who is attractive but still classy, not some girl who swings around a pole for a living. If you paraded around in the bedroom in some amazing lingerie and high heels he would be far more turned on by you than he would some random slutty girl in a strip club.

Dont let these girls make you feel insecure - he obviously thinks you are gorgeous otherwise he would not be with you, so start believing him when he compliments you and stop worrying about other girls. He is with you, so that means he doesnt want anyone else otherwise he would be with someone else. Strip clubs (most of the time) are a harmless bit of fun where these guys go to poke fun at their friends and have a laugh, not somewhere they go to stare at naked women and get turned on by it. Most men dont take strip clubs seriously, so try not to take it seriously either.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011):

Can't say that I care... But then I'd never feel threatened by some poor woman that has to dance around naked in front of men to get money.

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A female reader, sammi star United Kingdom +, writes (24 January 2011):

sammi star agony auntThe important thing here is how YOU feel. It doesn't matter weather the majority of women mind or not, what counts is your opinion.

I would say that men don't see these women as 'real' so that's why he doesn't compare you and like you said, you can't exactly ask him not to go to a bachelor party.

It's understandable you feel a bit insecure about this, most women would, but if you trust him then you haven't really got anything to worry about :)

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