A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why do I get so upset everytime my husband looks at another woman? Ever since I gave birth to our daughter I have been sensitive about how my body has changed. It has made me so depressed that I don't even want to go to the beach or anywhere in public for that matter. There are always so many beautiful and fit ladies around that are half dressed and I just don't feel that I will ever measure up. Yes, I could lose the weight and get fit but my stomach that is covered in stretch marks is never going to go away. And the minute my husband even glances at another woman I immediately begin comparing myself to her and telling myself that I will never look like that and I should just let my husband go so he can have a woman like the ones he looks at. How do I get over this? How do I trust him to look and not touch?
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depressed, insecure, stretch marks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (17 May 2012):
Your husband is not the problem. Your insecurity is. Listen, almost every woman has stretch marks, even those skinny runway models. I am 24 and I have them on my breasts, my hips, my butt and I haven't even had a child yet. When I was a teen I used to get upset for having them, but now I know people don't really pay attention to them.
Firming up also helps a lot to reduce their appearance. If you start working out, eating better, moisturizing a lot and losing the baby fat, your belly is going to tighten up and look a lot better. And who says women can't look smashing post baby? They can and a lot of them rock their bodies even though they have a lot of stretch marks. You just have to work for it, like you do for so many other things in life.
Your husband loves you, stretchmarks included. You just gave him a child and you are now a family together, why would he not love you? Also, bear in mind that after giving birth you are still raging with hormones, which is probably what makes you feel so emotional right now. It happens a lot. So try to pick yourself up. You are just as worthy as any other person.
Don't let your newfound insecurity ruin your self perception. If you let that happen and get to a point where your hubby can't reach you or convince you no matter what he says, you could make things very hard on you two. It would be wise to go to counseling to sort out your thoughts and tackle this problem head on.
If you want to get your body back in shape, maybe you should try doing something like p90x (which can be downloaded for free on torrent sites) so you can work out at home and still get in shape without the inconvenience of a gym membership.
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