A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I just had my first boyfriend and I'm almost positive that I'm in love with him, but we broke up two weeks ago. I just got to college and I was thinking to get over him I needed a rebound, so I started hanging out with this guy and we've made out. But while making out with the new guy, I started to think about my (ex)boyfriend. I realized that I needed to be single, but this new guy really likes me and I don't know how to tell him I need to be single. I also don't know how to get over my (ex)boyfriend. I feel bad for stringing this new guy along, but I don't want to hurt him either because he's very nice and he really likes me. Any and all help is appreciated!
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male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe  +, writes (8 September 2013):
 I dont think there is any other way than the direct, blunt way to be honest, it might hurt him more in the short term but is better in the long run because at least he knows where you and him stand. He will probably get over it quicker as well which will mean you may be friends etc etc.
In regards to your ex there are no easy answers, no miracle cures as you found with trying the rebound route. The only way is to take your time and live your life. As time goes by you will think about him less and less and eventually, who knows when, you will form a connection with somebody else and on that day you will be over him. However, you cant rush that process as you have found out but have faith it will happen. Good luck x
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (8 September 2013):
 Bless you, 2 weeks is absolutely no time at all when trying to get over a breakup (unless of course it was your idea because you'd had enough). Especially as you feel this guy may have been your first love.
Rebounding is never a good idea. It's important that you work through the emotions of your break up.
The new guy you made out with may be a bit miffed but will just have to understand that you're not ready for a relationship. Just tell him that you really like him and thought you were ok but have realised your still hung up on your ex.
Spend some time alone learning to be single again and grieving for your lost relationship. It takes time to heal and move on.
Don't rush things, take your time.
I hope this helps AB x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2013): Can't you just explain to him exactly what you've said in your post?That you like him back but you realise you're not ready for anything (yet) as you need time to get over your ex. Not that you expect him to wait around, but just you want to be on your own for now, and you don't know how long it'll take until you feel ready to meet someone else, but wish him luck in finding someone thats after the same as him - so you're telling him not to wait.That's what I'd do probably, but I'd wait to hear some more advice on here - people are usually really good on here - not me though, I mess things up for myself all the time lately, I always come here to read about people's problems, I'm trying to learn myself!Good luck :)
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