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I'm not sure if this woman I work with is interested in me or if she's even gay. She seemed to be wearing my hairband on her wrist, could there be some hidden meaning?

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Question - (8 September 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 September 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I work with someone who I'm not sure if she knows I'm interested and if she's gay or not. I've come across a photo a colleague showed me of this woman at work what looked to be wearing my hair band on her wrist..bearing in mind the person I'm talking about has short hair so wouldn't need one! I'm not 100% if I'm missing one but I had thought I'd lost one few months back. Is it conincidence or is there a hidden meaning?thanks

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (9 September 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntNOPE no hidden meaning. Probably not even your hair band.

Amazing what our minds can convince us of when we want to be convinced.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2013):

I infer from your post that you never actually saw this in person, just a photo of her wearing a hairband that might have been yours.

The idea that she would find a hairband, know it was yours when even YOU are not sure of that fact, and choose to wear it for a photo in hopes that photo would get back to you to reveal the secret torch she is carrying for you seems farfetched to say the least. Unless it's a really distinctive hairband, you are reading waaay too much into this.

Given that even office romances in which both parties, regardless of gender and orientation, are CLEAR about their interest in each other often turn into way more awkward drama than they're worth... it is my strong suggestion that you leave this alone and date outside your pool of colleagues anyway. Best wishes.

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A female reader, Got Issues United Kingdom +, writes (8 September 2013):

Got Issues agony auntIf all you have to go on is that she might have been wearing your hairband on her wrist in a photo then you are reading waaaaay too much into things and clutching at straws. Hairbands are pretty impersonal, I lose them all the time, so do others, sometimes I might find one at home or at work, pick it up, play with it absentmindedly and then put it on my wrist without even thinking about it. Means nothing.

The only way to find out if she's interested is to get to know her, and the only way to do that is to spend time with her, preferably outside of work. But you're treading on dodgy ground here because not only do you not know if she shares your sexual orientation, but she is also a colleague. Things could get very awkward, so I would suggest aiming for a friendship instead.

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