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How do I tell my wife I want to watch her have sex with other men?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 March 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2013)
A male United States age , *ofused writes:

Behind The Green Door

I want to watch my wife have sex with other men. And I don't know how to tell her.

It's a Turn On I would love to experience.

How can I tell her to bring home the boys and men?

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A female reader, st4rfish United States +, writes (31 March 2013):

st4rfish agony auntI'd be offended if my significant other asked me to have sex with other men. Fantasies are fantasies for a reason. They don't work in the real world or have disastrous consquences when attempted. You only mention your pleasure but how would your wife feel? No matter how slow or subtle you approach it, she probably won't take it well.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2013):

I too, speak from first hand experience and agree it often ends in a bad way, take note from the ones who played with the fire (remember it probably started as fantasy for us too.

Try it, but always be prepared to risk losing the game.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (29 March 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIs she even interested in the type of lifestyle you want?

I will tell you point blank I would still be happily married to my third husband had we not brought other men and women into our marital bed. We both are a bit wistful lately about the losses we suffered as our marriage died due to the open lifestyle.

I don't recommend it in any way shape or form.

I understand your desires totally. I do. I get it. I don't think wanting to see your wife having sex with others is that abnormal. I just think that risking a good marriage is not worth it.

Talk it up as fantasy... that should be enough for a long time.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (29 March 2013):

I think sign language is always a good bet.

Have you tried talking about it while having sex? My wife and I occasionally do as a fantasy (never gonna happen!) and it opens the door to a more serious conversation if she seems to be turned on by the idea.

Since my wife is turned on by the thought of it, I would feel more comfortable bringing up making it a reality than just saying, "hey I want you to screw other guys" out of nowhere.

Unlike Iamheretohelpyou I don't think this has to end in a disaster if you don't rush into it. But that's the key: take it slow.

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A female reader, R1 United Kingdom +, writes (28 March 2013):

R1 agony auntHow do you tell her?! Umm you don't! Or you do but be prepared for it to not go well.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2013):

I would like to do many things OP, some of them are not gonna happen, just accept it, you can ask her but be prepared for a no. DO you think she wants to have sex with other people? look there are places that a voyeur can go, where other people like to be seen, maybe you should consider it

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (28 March 2013):

Tisha-1 agony auntBuy a life-like mask, hang a big mirror in your bedroom and start with that.

I'm assuming you don't have great sexual communication with your wife?

Have you tried talking about your fantasy with her at all?

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (28 March 2013):

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntSlip a note under her cold pillow. Or leave it on her windshield. Maybe have another guy whisper it in her ear. Thats how silly you sound. Just tell her face to face. How else?

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