A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've fallen for my cousin. I don't know how it happened but we ended up at a family birthday getting really drunk and just hooking up. We've both come out of serious relationships and I thought it'd be a one off but it keeps happening. I know its wrong but I get some kind of kicks out of that. But over the last few weeks he's started seeing a new girl and he said we need to forget about it or we'll end up hurting our family. I don't want to forget about it, how do I change his mind?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2013): Yea I agree...the sex is probably what you're enjoying. Just take his moving on as sign from above, that it must end and move on as well. The damage you will caused by trying to hold on to this will be to great and it could drive a wedge deep in the middle of your family. I don't think you want the spillage from this to divide your so just move on and laugh about it secretly...while you have the chance to do that. Good luck!!
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (28 March 2013):
Dear OP,
I somehow get the crush-on-your-cousin thing. I don't know why, but cousins seem to be some a perfect mix between looking familiar but still unfamiliar enough so that they are attractive. Cousins are fascinating to us when we are still kids - way more cool than brothers and so mysterious - and we carry some of that fascination into adulthood. And sure, sometimes it's a thrill to cross boundaries and do something "forbidden".
I got the impression that this is actually rather based on a temporary sexual attraction than love - at least from his part it surely is - and so, it has no future. He hooked up with you when you both were drunk and you keep having sex. You're probably reading too much into what's just fun for him. He wants to end it and is seeing another girl. He's moved on and he will hurt you if you hang around for longer.
What your families are saying should be a concern, but in your case, how he treated you is already enough to tell you to let him go. If you both were the perfect couple and you shared a heartbreaking love story, I would say, go and risk it, don't care about whether you're cousins, tell your families and live your life. But this sounds like a half-assed friends with benefits situation. You shouldn't fight for that, just end it. I don't think it's worth upsetting your family over this.
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