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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello, let me first start off by saying I know very well that the situation I am about to explain is very unhealthy and not normal but I want some opinions and advice, thank you very much in advance for taking the time to read this. I have been in a serious relationship for a little over a year and a half now. For a few months now I have been noticing that something may be wrong with me. I have had some of these symptoms for a while but lately it has been getting worse and worse.I have started to get extremely paranoid and scared of my boyfriend (and other people) leaving me. The majority of my friends are my boyfriends friends, and I am scared that when he leaves me, not only will I lose the love of my life, but also most of my friends because I will hardly talk and see them anymore, and I hate the feeling of being alone. I have noticed my mood change from happy to sad to worried/stressed to confused all throughout the entire day. I am just not happy. I have made my boyfriend my life. Him and I are together a lot, and I hate when hes not around. I do everything I can for him. I feel like he's really the only person I have in life and has always been there for me. I am not a controlling person and I don't lash out on people, I keep all these feelings to myself and nobody knows I feel this way. I try my best to control how I feel, but sometimes I will get so confused about the way I am feeling I will say the wrong thing to people. This is also affecting friendships with people as well. I just feel like I have nobody who is truly my friend. I feel like people are constantly upsetting me and I don't understand how and what I am feeling, I am very confused about depressed about everything. I get jealous over my closest friends other relationship with people. My opinions and feelings for people change often. I feel left out and lonely. I have had some bad experiences in my past/childhood that I can't seem to understand and let go or forget about, it depresses me.I am an 18 year old female, is this a teenage phase I'm going through or could something be seriously wrong and I should seek help? I am not sure what I would say to a counselor as I have so many problems and I'm so confused about what I am feeling. I have been feeling like this for a while now, and I am actually scared at this point, thank you.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 March 2013):
 "I have made my boyfriend my life."
that my dear is the crux of the problem.
boyfriends are great and they are wonderful and they can be very very very important aspects of our lives BUT NEVER make them your whole life....
You don't have to know what to say to a counselor, it's their job to help you figure it out... they know what to ask.
the best thing to do would be print out what you wrote and give it to the counselor and say "now what?" and go from there.
You sound to me like you have tremendous potential to be very self aware and that's a great thing...
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (28 March 2013):
I believe that iAmHereToHelpYou has eloquently and rightly identified the problem here.
IF you put all your eggs in one basket and make your relationship your life, you feel this way because there’s just too much riding on it for it ever to be healthy. You’ve developed a dependency on your boyfriend which means you’re not just with him because you want to be (healthy enough), but because you need him to feel like you’re able to cope with daily life. You recognise the problem and you recognise how badly you’re going to feel if you lose him and so you live in the shadow of constant fear. Yes it is time to seek some help-friends and family are great but to be sure you’ll be given the space and freedom to think it out for yourself without being told what to think and feel, you should consider a counsellor. Either show them the post you’ve written here, or just the first part like iAmHereToHelpYou suggests and they’ll guide you through the exploration of your feelings and emotions.
I wish you all the very best.
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