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How do I tell my partner I no longer want us to be together? And will I regret it if I end it?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 December 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 24 December 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

How do I tell my partner that I no longer want us to be together? And will I regret it if I end things?

My partner and I had been seeing each other for just over 4 years when we split up in February. He then kept texting me and desperately wanted to give our relationship another go. In the end we started seeing each other again in September but things just aren't how they once were between us and I'm no longer 'in love' with him or feel that chemistry between us.

I've told him how I feel and he thinks we just need time but I really don't think that will help. We get on as friends but for me, now there is nothing else there.

I really don't know what to do for the best - I feel too young to be 'settling' for something that is ok but not that great. Any advice? Thanks.

View related questions: split up, text

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (24 December 2007):

rcn agony auntI agree with the other poster. It's not going to work out, you won't allow that to happen. You two have a history together, you split up for a while and decided to give it another try. The relationship has no chance of surviving when one of the participants, due to the past split up, has predetermined the ending. I agree, with the predisposition of failure present, it's better to let him go. Will you regret it in the end. Who knows but you? My daughter is laying next to me while I type this, since she's sleeping and not reading what I type, I can safely say I have missed her mom for the past 7 years. Do I regret what could have been done, and didn't. Of course I do, but I had to let that go. I had to so I could live a happy life. I have missed her, but I have also found happiness not being together.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (22 December 2007):

kenny agony auntI think ultimately he still really likes you, and when we really like someone we try to hold on to them with everything we've got, even if deep down we know its not working. Unfortunately you have got to be cruel to be kind and just finish it, that's it. I know he will be hurt but this is what's got to happen. Tell him sooner rather than later, i feel the longer you leave it the harder it will get. If you don't effectively you are going on giving him false hope, giving him that hope to hold on to you that bit longer, this in turn will lead him to an even bigger fall. Cut all ties and you will feel better in yourself for you know you will have done the right thing.

Good luck & merry Christmas x

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