A
female
age
36-40,
*liche20
writes:This guy and I went in several dates together. We go to the same school. we are both in college. We kissed twice and did not have sex. Everything was fine until he just completely stopped calling me or texting me. I tried to text him once only, he replied and we texted for a little bit, but then it stopped their. I didn't know I had feeling for this guy until he just dissapeared in my life. and I really had strong feelings for him because he was such a nice guy. I even invited him to a party my roommate was doing, he told me he was coming, but didn't show up and didn't call or anything. I didn't call or text either. He went home and I did too. Now school is back. We have 2 classes together :/ We don't say hi to each other. It's just hard for me...to just fake it. I am not trying to get back with him or anything like that but the not talking to me thing is just hard. I think about him "all the time", when I say all the time i mean all the time, everything I see, everything someone says just reminds me of him. It's extremely hard and I want to do well in school. What are you advices for me. I never called him and try to text him. I even deleted his number from my phone and from my facebook. Do you guys think I should confront him and ask him why he's not talking to me, that I just don't want all that to complicate my life, tthat we should get back the way we were before he asked me out??? Please help!!!!!
View related questions:
facebook, roommate, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): You do deserve an explaination so you know where you stand, can put it into perspective, and move on. There's nothing worse than someone suddenly breaking contact completly without so much a an explanation, not only does it prove they were never interested and were just wasting your time, but it also shows they have no decency or respect for you. I think you did the right thing by deleting his number, because the outlook may be that you will never get an explaination and that he or anyone else who treats another like this are not worth your time and affection.
A
female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (21 August 2009):
 just come out with it say you deserve an explanation for why he cut you off and has now stopped talking to you. maybe his not as nice as you thought, maybe he has another girlfriend or maybe he just isnt attracted or interested in you whatever the response you need to be able to take it on the head and move on
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): Yes, you could ask him what happened, but I am wondering if he is even worth it. He doesn't owe you a relationship or anything and if he is going to act like that then you haven't even lost a friend.
I think you have done great not contacting him when he stopped calling, that shows me you aren't willing to go chasing after some douche bag.
I think the only reason you are obsessing over him like you are is one, he hurt your feelings, two, you were disappointed and confused at his actions, and three people want what they cannot have and that is the most important thing going on here, is rejection feels bad, and you want to win him over to make the bad feelings go away.
You don't need closure to move on though because hearing his reasons probably is not going to make you feel any better. He probably did not call you anymore for emotional reasons, he may just not have felt the connection with you he was looking for due to your different personalities and what not, so you can't really explain an emotional decision with logic!!!!
Further, having the answers to why is not going to make your feelings any different, you still will be rejected.
You just have to move on and tell yourself that he wasn't the right guy for you, and someone better will be coming along soon, look around, it is raining men, don't waste your time on this one that didn't work out.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (21 August 2009):
 I've actually been in a similar situation. I started dating a guy I was head over heels for, and we dated for about 3 weeks. One day, he just sort of disappeared from my life without notice. I tried contacting him a little, but it was very clear from his responses that he had no interest in seeing me so I dropped it. I obsessed over ways to get his interest back and thought about him constantly. I never actually got the courage just outright ask him why he lost interest until a friend told me to. I just asked to talk to him real quick away from his friends and took him into another room and just flat out asked him and he calmly explained to me exactly what happened. I think the important thing was that I was asking with no motive to get back with him and that I did it very calmly and accepted what he said. Once I had the closure and knew what happened, I immediately was over him and barely spent another minute thinking of him. I encourage you to do the same. You need to be ready to accept that you might not like what you hear and you need to encourage him to be honest with you by not yelling at him or crying or calling him names. That will shut him up quick and ensure that he never wants to be friends. Thank him at the end and ask if you can remain friends. Good luck!
...............................
|
