A
female
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*ummyduckling
writes:hey there all in dear cupid land. me and my boyfriend have been together almost 11 months and are going away for my 18th birthday witch is in two weeks (he's also 18) we have been talking about marriage for a while but latly its been alot more serious. we have decided we want to get engaged but i just dont know how to tell my mum because we've been together only 11 months she may fly of the handle. she obviously doesnt want me following in her footsteps because she got married at 18 and had 2 kids by the time she was 22. but me and my boyfriend are in full time education and havint alot of money so are waiting untill we are out of education (in a years time) and are living together before we acctually get married. but i still dont know how to tell her about it any ideas????thank you for any advicedummyduckling
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female
reader, emily.christina  +, writes (22 April 2008):
Personally I think 11 months is a little soon to know whether or not he's the right one for you, but that's none of my business. I think you should just tell her the truth, but don't be surprised if she tells you that you're still to young, etc. What you should do is wait until you guys are out of school and have both had full time jobs for almost a year before tying the knot. By all means if you want to get engaged now, go ahead, but by all means wait to get married. You never know what can happen after you pass the one year mark or even the two years. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now and I'm 19 and I still think it's too soon, and I love him with all my heart. Don't rush into this, it is a commitment that you should consider very very carefully. Once kids are brought into the picture it is a whole different ballgame, you don't want to put your kids through the agony of a divorce just because you think your ready..
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (21 April 2008):
 Whoh what is the hurry of settling down and getting engaged.
Take it from me who got married at 20 and also had two kids by the time I was 22,and then divorced at 29 .Your mum has your interests at heart and does not want you to rush into anything. Marriage and moving in together is a huge step, find yourselves a job and save up until you guys can afford to live in a place of your own. Renting or buying property is very expensive and you both need a permanant full time job to have a place of your own, because estate/letting agents do not take people on if they do not have a regular income coming in.
Carry on having fun and hanging out with your boyfriend, cos trust me the wait will be well worth it. Take care Hun. Dusky xxx.
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A
female
reader, A Cappella  +, writes (21 April 2008):
 Tell her the truth. Tell her you're planning on getting married after a LONG engagement. She just wants the best for you, and if you can wait until your education is done then the both of you will have it a lot easier. So assure her that you'll wait to marry, and she'll be okay. Good luck.
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