A
female
age
41-50,
*reaclepie
writes:I have just found out my husband is cheating on me. I have computer eveidence so I am sure. I hurt so much. How do i tell him i know the truth? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, nicola79 +, writes (27 May 2007):
 its quite simple,
"WHY HAVE YOU BEEN CHEATING ON ME? IF YOU HAD A PROBLEM IN THIS RELATIONSHIP YOU SHOULD LET ME KNOW SO WE COULD TRY AND WORK IT OUT. I WANT YOU TO GET SOME CLOTHES AND GO TO YOUR PARENTS OR A FRIENDS FOR A WHILE SO I CAN THINK ABOUT THIS"
do not let him try and talk you around flower, you need to be strong,and even if in the back of your mind you want to try again, dont let him know that. you need to be tough on him otherwise he will just do it again,because he got away with it this time.
im here if you want to talk sweety.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (27 May 2007):
 If you haven't already picked him up, text him back that he should have his girlfriend pick him up, because you're busy with a locksmith changing the locks on your house. She can bring him by to pick up his stuff, which will be out on the lawn, and he can talk to your lawyer.
Maybe that's a little much for a text message. But something along those lines would be good. If he doesn't cancel with the boys and come straight home, you have your answer.
You might also want to do some soul searching before you see him again. Decide: (1) do you want him back? and (2) what would he have to do for you to trust him again? And BTW, if there's nothing he can do, then you should just leave him outright -- staying without trust will keep you both miserable.
Good luck hon.
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A
female
reader, sunrise +, writes (27 May 2007):
 Have all the evidence ready either on screen or print it out, take a deep breath and ask him to explain.
I know your hurting and this will be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do, but the longer you leave it the deeper the hurt will seep and you will end up making yourself ill.
Once it's out in the open and you've heard what he has to say you can start to sort things out and whatever the outcome, you will then be able to move on.
Dont leave it too long, i really feel for you, i've been there, but you can get through this with time x
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A
female
reader, treaclepie +, writes (27 May 2007):
treaclepie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, I appreciate all your advise.
I cant get hold of him now (conveient?!). Ive found myself questioning if he really is out with the lads.
I will pick him up, get home and then talk. But I think if hes drunk I should leave it until tommorow, but i really dont want to do that.
Ive set up the spare room for tonight and I will sleep in there.
What do you guys think?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2007): I am so sorry about the death of your father, and finding this out as your trying to grieve must be heart breaking.
I recently found out my husband has cheated, around the same time my nan died so our circumstances are very similar. I found that remaining calm was the best option, I had all the information I needed but kept my cards very close to my chest, I needed to know when I confronted my husband and he finally told me what had been going on that he would then tell me the truth. I kept what evidence I had to myself until he gave me his side of the story....he did tell the truth, everything came out and I then asked him to leave. I spent some time alone, but kept checking his mobile online (by logging into his account) and spoke on the phone.I needed time to decide what I wanted to do.
I think you should give him chance to explain, and to tell you what he wants, I think you should be honest about how hurt you are, and then I think you need time and space to figure out where you want your relationship to then go. www.surviveanaffair.com has some good advice, get support from family and friends around you and no matter what he says remember you are not to blame in any way shape or form for his cheating. My husband and I have decided to give it another go, he only had a one night stand and it is hard to deal with still but things are good. I hope that whether you stay with your partner or end it that most of all you take care of yourself, let us know how things go on xx
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (27 May 2007):
 Tell him that you're busy, and that you can't pick him up. When he gets home, have the pictures in a place that he's going to see them.
DV1
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A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (27 May 2007):
 Okay if you want to sort this out now - Id ring or txt him and ask him to come home - tell him you need to talk to him and that it cant wait.
Confront him with what you know and find out why he has been cheating on you.
are you prepared to walk out on your marriage or willing to sort things out?
if your prepared to walk out on the marriage then pack HIS bags and change the locks.
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A
female
reader, treaclepie +, writes (27 May 2007):
treaclepie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have all the evidence to show him when he was due home about 5ish. Now he has sent me a text message to say he is going out into town with the lads and can i go and pick him up around 10. Im now angry cos I felt I was ready to confront him (I found out about 6 weeks ago, but knew I needed firm evidence and to be calm before I spoke about it). What now?!
The thing is, I didn't know there was any probs in our relationship. Its been a tough few months as my dad died suddenly (who I was v close to), but Ive found out this was going on before we were even married.
I didn't have any suspicions until I was making his birthday card on the computer and found some pics hed been looking at.
All your answers are greatly received x
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (27 May 2007):
Print out the evidence, and when he comes in, calmly put it in front of him and walk out. Pack your bags, and move on to a better future.
DV1
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A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (27 May 2007):
Sit him down and talk to him, ask him how he feels about your relationship. Explain that you have been on your computer and that you think he is cheating on you - if you are certain that he is?Maybe you both need to spend more time together to re discover the fun in the relationship. If he is cheating on you then you need to decide whether you can forgive and learn to trust him again or if the marriage is overi really hope you can sort this out
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