A
female
age
41-50,
*iso32
writes:I've been out with a man about 6 times over the course of about a month. The first 2 or 3 dates I thought he was strange and weird looking (sorry, just being honest here) but for whatever reason, kept wanting to see him again. The last few times he seems less nervous and is extremely interesting, smart, and hilarious. I'm starting to drop my guard and become a bit more interested. We have kissed twice - both just quick kisses on the lips goodbye at the end of the night. I would like to makeout with him and see what it's like. But not more than that. We're meeting tonight. He usually walks me home and I was thinking of inviting him back to my apartment for a beer. I actually also just got my period today. Which gives me a clear reason to not go further than making out as well. I know I should know this at my age but what's the best way to be clear here. Do I just straight up tell him "Just so you know, we're only going to kiss tonight." Does that totally ruin the mood and seem like a tease? Do I tell him "I have some womanly issues so just some kissing and cuddling tonight." I know how guys love to hear about periods (sarcasm). Do I not invite him up until I'm ready to go the full hokey pokey? Just kiss him a bit more outside my place. I'm 32 and he's 28 by the way. I don't know if that makes a difference.Please don't tell me to just do what I feel comfortable with - I know that. I just need some concrete advice about how to say/do it. Thank you!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): You don't need to provide him with a full report of why you can't go further. Just make sure you don't get too involved in any heavy petting and you can pick up again when you're done. You can still do other things while you wait a few days. No biggie.
A
female
reader, Deema  +, writes (9 April 2009):
 Well, from experience, I never invited someone in the house unless I felt really comfortable about them being there and knew that I could trust them. If you live on your own, you could have an axe murderer or a stalker on your hands, so you have to be very careful. Then, when I felt safe enough to invite him in, I made dinner, we watched a film, and of course he started to get amorous. I was determined this was not going to be sex, as I wasn't ready for that, so I kept breaking off from the amour and going into the kitchen, moving away from him to break the scene up so he couldn't get too over the top. Then when it got to 10.30, I just said 'time to go now'. Of course he protested, but because I had thought it all through before he came, I was ready for that, and ushered him on his way. He has told me since that he respected me so much for that, and that had I not been such a tough nut to crack, he would probably not have stayed with me. So make your plan and stick to it. You know how far you want to go, let it be that far and then no more. He'll love you all the more for that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): i think its ok to invite him but and u should just have fun and be normal ! if he tries to do more than kissing or cuddling then u should tell him " i really want to but i have my period " ... i think u better not tell him before anything happens .. !
that's my opinion :)
good luck ;)
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