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How do I tell my family and friends about my BF without shocking them too much??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Family, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 May 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 May 2011)
A female Singapore age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I recently got together with a guy who I really care for and like. He's like THE guy I've always wanted my bf to be like and the feeling's mutual for him as well. I enjoy the chemistry we share and I've never been more thankful to have met a guy like him.

While he has asked me to be his gf, and as much as I want to go official with him, I would like to let my friends and family know. Yet I'm afraid of their disapproval. For one, my friends would expect me to be with a good-looking guy because I'm rather good-looking. Honestly I think beauty is only skin deep so even though isn't like the tall dark handsome guy girls dream of, I'm madly in love with him.

Furthermore, I don't really disclose much about my love life to my friends. I don't want to shock them too much by suddenly declaring I'm with a guy. But they aren't exactly in the dark about it either cos my classmates have been encouraging me to get together with the guy cos they've heard rumors about us.

The second thing is my family. He's from China and they aren't really approving of me being with a foreigners as they would prefer me with a local. I don't want to hide anything from my family and friends but how do I let them know without shocking them too much?

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A female reader, superbunny United Kingdom +, writes (20 May 2011):

superbunny agony auntYour parents will only want you to be happy and if they can see this guy makes you happy then they will grow to like him with time or they may like him straight away :)

As for your friends, the same goes. It's not about what someone looks like or where they're from, it's about if they're good for you and if they're true friends they will see that he makes you happy and accept your relationship.

Enjoy your new relationship :)

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A female reader, Little Miss Love United Kingdom +, writes (19 May 2011):

Little Miss Love agony auntits amazing that you have found someone who you can feel about and you shouldnt have to deal with the stress of having to tell your friends, i suggest that you sit down with all your friends and on a serious note explain to them how much this boy means to you, if you explain well enough they should understand and then if they are supporting you you should find the confidence to tell your family... good luck and hope things work out for you :)

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A female reader, Smileypants United States +, writes (19 May 2011):

Smileypants agony auntWell, you're a grown up now right? You're with who you're with and if others don't like it they can shove it haha

I would say just hang out with him, like you're gonna anyways. Don't make any big announcements about BF/GF...he's just there with you. A lot. People will get the hint. If friends/family have something rude to say, put on your big girl pants and firmly (but not angrily) tell them how you don't appreciate their snide remarks over a person you are growing to care deeply for.

The only snag I forsee is if your parents are REALLY against it- enough to forbid you to see him. If you still live at home, that could be a problem.

Otherwise enjoy your new relationship, and seriously- don't let other peoples shallow opinions bother or influence you :o)

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