A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with one of my best girl friends since early May, though we admitted we had feelings for eachother late last year. It's been about 6 months now, all our friends now know about us, after having kept it secret for around 5 months. The problem is our parents/family don't know, and I want to tell mine. My dad is homophobic and I know he will react badly. Does anyone have any tips on how I can tell him about my girlfriend without him freaking out? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, openmind  +, writes (30 October 2009):
Girl you tell your father if you want to tell him! You have a gf your happy he will eventually be asking why havent you brought home a boy and damn she spends an awful lot of time with this girl. Yes its hard to do but just sit down and say dad i know you dont agree with it but im gay and there is nothing either of us can do about it so i thought i should tell you because i love you and i know you love me. Do not let him try and suade you from your sexuality or your girl if he gets mad then he gets mad its not like we just wake up and say man i think i will be gay today i mean really what can you do. You are old enough to have a say in what and who you do lol. Inform him it is something you your self have had to struggle with for a long time and you have finally come to terms with it and you hope he can too. Good luck!!!!!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): Hey tose accusing you of acting out or of being able to just keep it to yourself are not really making much sense.Every day on this site we advise people that the only way to try and be happy is to try being who you are. Its been 6 months you guys care about each other. Your dad is a part of your life and at least deserves his chance to understand, he may not he may react badly but until you tell him you wont know. My advice is to tell him that you are gay. What happens after is up to him. Before you do though be sure you are happy with it and then tell him.Its not easy but you will be you and in time he will make his peace with it.Best of luck with this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): I think you should tell him, I'm sure he'll get over it and it will be even worse if you tell him after you've been going out for a long while.
but theres no easy way to tell him, you'll just have to sit him down & tell him.
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A
female
reader, mimmy0618 +, writes (29 October 2009):
 omg ok i really understand what your goin through but i think that he will be mad at first and then he will hug you and tell you i will always love you because your my child....
the easy way to do it...
Its just to tell him make sure there is someone else in the room with you...because wen i told my mom she hit me...i was only 16.but now i had to change my life and i have a boyfirend now.i am very happy now.
but i really hope everything come out fine.and your family will support you.and give you the love you need!...hope your relationship stays strong.....
oh and one more thing tell you and your girl have to be really strong because once that happends it will be hard
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): Why do you have to tell him?... I hate that..... ALL PEOPLE LIE ABOUT LOVE, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS... he's got his issues, don't let his prejudice destroy yours... Continue loving your girlfriend, enjoy the support of your friends and family you can be honest with... leave him alone, and only tell him when you and her get serious enough to get married and settled down.. Same advice I'd give a hetrosexual couple with angry religious parents.... Do you think all people tell they're parents about every relationship?.. We hide the "one night stands", the guys that treated us bad, the one time we decided to have sex with two or three people, or the time we had an orgy, or had sex in public, or decided to have fun with someone from our own sex... YOUR SEX AND LOVE LIFE IS YOUR OWN BUSINESS.... An adult keeps their private life secret untill it gets serious when settling down or marriage is mentioned...Good luck, to you and your girlfriend, and don't let the love haters pull you apart. If he asks you, then be truthfull and tell him the score, but don't give him information that he dosen't want to know.... if it was a man.. he still wouldn't want to know.. your his baby girl, and you will never fall in love with a man or woman according to him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): I agree with the other poster, why is it necessary to tell your dad? Why bring up something that'll cause problems, wait till uve been going out for lik a year, i don't know why parents have to be informed about their children's relationships until they are having serious (As in near married) ones
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): And why is it you feel the guy just has to know?
He has spent the best part of his life providing for you, sheltering you, driving you to sports and activities, taking you on vacation.
Now you feel its super important to act out in front of him?
Keep your teen angst to yourself and wait until you comeback from college to make any big announcements.
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